RvB: The Newcomer
by NexusLight
Summary: Private Steve Walker was shipped out to Blood Gulch to Blue base. How will this soldier fair as he's taken on a massive journey from a box canyon to all across the galaxy? How will he deal with AIs, freelancers, random shenanigans, and random bullshittery?
1. The Newcomer

**Hey everyone. NexusLight and to start off, I'm seriously sorry for not posting anything for a long time. This is mainly due to being extremely busy with my life and my interest shifting. So to get me back on my feet, I'm going to make a smaller scale story for one of my favorite web series: Red vs. Blue. So lets get started!**

**Disclaimer:**** I own only the OC. _Red vs. Blue_ is owned by Rooster Teeth**

* * *

**Years Ago**

**Space**

**No one's POV**

In the cold dark depths of space, the UNSC frigate _Mother of Invention _slowly moves across the sea of inky blackness. However, inside was currently much more eventful then the exterior of the ship.

* * *

**Aboard the _Mother of Invention_**

Two men walk down the metallic halls of the holding section of the ship. The dark-skinned man walked slightly behind the taller one with a worried expression while the other had a stone-hard look on his face.

"Director, I normally won't question your decisions, however this not just one of our best agents, but also one of our first-"

"My decision stands, Councilor. He must be punished for his actions. Project Freelancer will not tolerate anyone who stands in the way of our mission to ensure the survival of humanity." The man cut off the other with a hard, Texian-voice.

The Councilor remained silent before nodding. "Yes Director."

They soon stopped once they reached the cell at the end of the hall. Standing on the both sides of the entrance were two of the projects agents. One was Washington, who wore grey armor with a yellow trim. The other was New York, who had tan armor with silver trim. Once the Director was standing in front of them, they stood at attention.

"At ease." The Director ordered.

"Yes sir." The two freelancers acknowledged before easing their stances.

The Director nodded before looking at the cell door. "So how's he doing?"

Washington was the first to reply. "He hasn't done anything so far."

"Yeah. No shouting, no attempts to even break out." York added before looking at Washington. "It's hard to believe that he's the same guy that kick our asses just a few hours ago."

"I know, but that's not to surprising considering he was here long before the rest of us were. I mean, it took both Carolina and Tex to subdue him." Washington replied. Letting out a groan, he rubbed his right shoulder. "I can still feel every hit he landed on my body, but it's not as bad as his-"

"Enough." The Director ordered. Washington immediately shut up and both him and York faced the Director. "All three of you, please leave. I wish to speak to him alone."

Everyone looked at him like he was crazy, but before they could speak, the Texas man spoke again. "Now."

The two Freelancers looked at the Councilor, who only nodded at the two. Reluctantly, the two walk past the Director and proceed to follow the dark-skinned man back down the hall. Once the three were far enough away, the Director spoke. "F.I.L.S.S, open the door."

A beep was heard before the small screen on the left side of the door flashed. _"Yes Director."_ The light above the door goes green before the cell door opens and the Director walks in.

The room is barely lite and featureless apart from the heavily enforced bars that divided the room. On the other side of the room, was a standard prison bed, sink, and toilet. Laying on the bed was rather tall man, however, his back was turned towards the wall, so his facial features were hidden. He didn't bother turning around as he heard the footsteps of the Director.

Stopping a foot away from the bars and looks at the man on the bed. "Hello, Agent Nebraska."

Letting out a scoff, Nebraska replied. "_Director_. To think you would come to see a prisoner. I would have thought that you would have sent Carolina or the _shadow_."

The Director frowned and clenched his hands. However, he didn't get a chance a speak as Nebraska suddenly threw one of the knobs he broke off the sink at the Director.

_'CLANG!'_

The Director didn't flinch as the knob collided with one of the bars, causing a dent to form. Nebraska glared at the Director as he continued. "Don't try to hide it, sir! I know what you've been doing! The AIs, Alpha, and what _Tex _really is!"

The Director didn't say anything before letting out a sigh. "Nebraska, you are one of the best we've got and when I offered you to join, you didn't hesitate to accept." Shaking his head, the man continued. "Listen, forget about all that information and I'll be willing to sent you back to-"

"Forget it, _Leonard_." Nebraska cut him off. "You should know that I can't do that." Nebraska walked up to the bars and looked the Director square in the eyes. "I can't because I know **Allison** wouldn't want you to do this."

The two didn't say anything for a few seconds before the Director turned around. "So do I need to tell you the punishment for your actions?"

Nebraska didn't speak, but the Director knew that the freelancer knew his fate. "I see. Then goodbye, Agent Nebraska."

* * *

**Episode 1 - The Newcomer**

* * *

**Years Later**

**Skies Above Blood Gulch**

**Walker's POV**

"-Okay dude. You understand everything, Private Walker?" A voice spoke from my radio as the Pelican I was in flew to my new base.

I was baffled by this. I thought I was being sent to battle some hostile alien force, but instead, I'm being sent to the Blue Army outpost at a place called Blood Gulch because they lost their leader a while ago. Despite my doubts, I nodded. "Yes Vic. I understand."

"Alright amigo. I hope you enjoy your stay at Blood Gulch." Vic told me as I nodded again before switching off my radio. I then look down at my standard blue armorthat had white trim on it before sighing.

_"Private Walker, we are approaching Blood Gulch. Prepare for drop-off."_ The pilot spoke from the intercom. I nodded before walked up front and saw...

...a box canyon in the middle of nowhere.

...

...

_'Oh god.' _I thought to myself.

* * *

**Blood Gulch**

"This shit better be worth fighting for..." I spoke to myself depressed as I stood outside in front of the base. I reached down and picked up my duffle bag, but before I could walk in, I heard voices coming from the back of the base.

Curious, I walked around the right side until I saw two other soldiers standing there. One had aqua-colored armor and the other had standard blue armor. "No- No- Not like that. We need more men to help us."

I keep walking towards them as the aqua one keep speaking. "Huh? What do you mean another guy was already shipped out here?"

Once I was close enough, I spoke. "Excuse me." Both soldiers turned towards me as I continued. "Is this Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha?"

"Oh... Okay, the new guy's here. But we lost another one of our guys too." The aqua one spoke, I'm guessing to Command. "-Yeah, that got blown up, too."

_"Wow, sucks to be you dude."_ I overheard Vic speak.

Nodding, the aqua soldier replied. "Yeah, we know.

_"Okay then, he's what I can do. The nearest Blue forces can be there in 16 days, or I-"_ Vic spoke before being cut off by the aqua one. "16 days!? That's almost two weeks."

_"-Or I can hire a nearby freelancer and get him there within a few hours."_

The blue one then spoke. "I like the 'in an hour' one."

The aqua soldier looked at the other one and nodded. "Yeah, me too. Roger that, Command. We prefer the quicker solution."

_"10-4, Blood Gulch. We will contact Freelancer Tex and have him there post-haste. Command out."_ Vic finished before disconnecting.

The aqua one nodded. "Whoever he is, make sure he can fix a tank." Finishing his talk with command, he turned towards me along with the blue guy. "So your the new guy they sent here?"

"Yes." I set my bag down before saluting. "Private Steven Walker reporting for duty."

"Hey man, you don't have to bother with that shit around here. Besides, all three of us are privates." The aqua one told me.

I looked at him in surprise. "Wait, no one's been promoted after the leader died?"

"Yeah, pretty much." He answered with a shrug. "By the way, I'm Tucker-" He turned to point at the blue soldier. "-And that's Caboose." Caboose just waved at me.

I blinked in confusion before nodding. "O-Okay. In that case, just call me Steve"

Both nodded before Caboose turned to Tucker. "What's a freelancer?"

Tucker turned to look at Caboose. "Freelancers are independent. They're not Red or Blue. They're guns for hire who will fight for whoever has the most money."

"Basically mercenaries." I replied.

"Right. Or like your mom when the rent's due."

I held back from laughing while Caboose stood there for a second before speaking. "Oh, that's funny."

"Yeah, you didn't think that was too obvious?" Tucker deadpanned.

"No, no, not at all. That was- that was good."

Calming myself down, I was about to speak when a new voice spoke from behind me. "Tucker- Tucker!" Turning around, I saw-

"What the hell!?" I jumped back upon seeing a transparent, white soldier standing there.

"Who the hell are you!?" Tucker shouted terrified as he and Caboose backed up as well.

"I am the ghost of Church, and I've come back with a warning!" The 'ghost' spoke.

"You're not Church!" Caboose said. "Church is blue." The 'ghost', Church, stopped and turned to him irritated. "You're white."

"Rookie, shut up, man! I'm a freakin' ghost! Have you ever seen a blue ghost before?" He yelled at Caboose. I slowly reached over to the device that was installed in my left gauntlet to activate it.

"Yeah, it's definitely him." I heard Tucker speak.

"Now I got to start over again." Church said before clearing his throat, if he had one. "Tucker- Tucker! I've come back with a warning!"

I pressed the activation button on my gauntlet and immediately, a red, white, and blue circular energy shield formed. I quickly rushed at the 'ghost' and tried to ram him with my shield, only to be surprised as I ran through him. I stopped and turned back around to see everyone looking at me. "What the-"

"God damn it! First Caboose and now a new asshole!" The ghost shouted in frustration.

Luckily, Tucker spoke. "At least he made you stop talking in that stupid voice. Seriously, is the voice necessary?"

"Yeah, it's kind of annoying." Caboose agreed.

The ghost sighed in annoyance. "Fine."

"Okay, hang on. Who the fuck is this?" I asked, having enough of this bullshit and just wanting answers.

Tucker looked at me and spoke. "This is Church. He was killed by Caboose before you got here."

"Caboose killed him? Can you explain?" I questioned.

**15 Minutes Later**

Hearing the story of how Caboose accidently killed Church, me and said dead-man soon spoke with each other and all I can say is that he's a bit of an asshole, but he also seems to be the most levelheaded.

"My god. Command actually did something good for once. Sending someone who's not a fucking idiot!" Church shouted to the sky as if thanking God.

I look over at Tucker with a confused expression. "Is he always like this?"

"Yep." He replied with a deadpanned voice. He then looked at Church. "So are you hear to tell us something?"

Suddenly remembering what he was here for, Church stood up. "Oh yeah. Okay, here's the deal. I've come back from the dead to give you a warning about Tex. Don't let-"

"What's the warning?" Caboose suddenly asked.

"Shut up for one second and I'll tell you!" Church shouted at Caboose.

"Oh, sorry."

"Seriously, man! I mean, I'm coming back from the great beyond here. Do you think this is easy?"

"Must be since God or Satan haven't taken you yet." I quickly said.

"Shut up, new guy." Church quickly told me. "Well, It's not! It's not just, you know, pop in and out whenever I feel like it. It takes a lot of concentration."

"Sorry."

"I mean, it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with, but now I come back and I can't even get a word in edgewise, man." Letting out a sigh, Church turned back to Tucker and spoke. "Okay, here's the deal."

"Is this the warning?" Caboose suddenly asked.

"All right, that's it. I swear to God, Caboose, your ass is haunted. When we're don here, I'm going to haunt you." Church threatened.

"Yeah, you're even starting to bug me." Tucker said as he turned to Caboose.

"Caboose, wait for him to finish before asking anything." I told Caboose.

Turning back to Tucker, Church began. "Okay, Tucker, you remember that I told I was stationed on Sidewinder before they transferred me here to Blood Gulch, right?"

"No." Tucker simply said.

"Sidewinder?" Caboose asked. "Isn't that the ice planet?"

Turning to Caboose, I answered him. "Yeah. I've been there once and all I can say is that it's really cold."

"Exactly."

"That's it? Just cold?" Caboose asked.

"What do you want from me, a poem?" Church asked annoyed. "It's a planet made entirely out of ice. It's really fuckin' cold."

"Would you just let him talk?" Tucker asked Caboose, annoyed as well.

Church turned back to Tucker. "All right. Well, one day when I was there, everything was just like normal. I remember I was out on patrol with my partner, Jimmy." He then looked up at the sky as if he was remembering a good memory. "That Jimmy was a real good kid. Everybody liked him."

"Do you think I was a good kid, Church?" Tucker asked, hoping Church would say something good about him for once.

Said dead-man shook his head. "Tucker, don't get jealous, man. Just listen to the story, okay? Like I said, guys were hanging around, waiting for some action, bitching about the cold."

_"Not that surprised."_ I thought to myself.

"Anyway, Jimmy was in the middle of telling me all about this girlfriend he had back home. He was planning on marrying her when he finished his service." He then looked to the ground to the left as he clenched his fists. "And that's when Tex showed up. Private Mickey was the first to go. He was halfway across the base when all of a sudden he just started screaming bloody murder. Then Tex attacked and the whole thing was over before it even started." Shaking his head, he finished his tale. "Poor Jimmy was the last one to go. Tex snuck up on him, pulled Jimmy's skull right out of his head, and beat him to death with it."

"Wait a second. How do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible." Tucker asked skeptically. I nodded in agreement.

"That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming." Church simply said before getting back to the point. "Bottom line is, these freelancers, they're bad news, and Tex is one of the worst."

"Aren't all mercenaries?" I asked.

"Pretty much." Church agreed.

"If he's such a bad ass, why didn't he kill you?" Caboose asked.

Church only shrugged. "I'll tell you, I don't know why I'm not dead. He could have killed me at any point. But maybe it's because Tex and I have run into each other once before."

"Where?" Tucker asked.

"You, uh, you remember that girl I told you about back home?" Church asked, suddenly finding the reason becoming awkward. "Well, let's just say that Tex is the real reason why we never got married."

Suddenly, I notice him fading. "Hey Church, you might want to look at yourself." I said as I pointed at him.

Church did and saw his situation before looking at us. "Guys, I'm fading fast and I don't know when I'll be back. Just listen to my warning. Don't let Tex get involved here."

"OK." "Right." Me and Tucker replied together while Caboose nodded.

Nodding, Church began to fade into nothing. "I mean it, guys. No fighting, no scouting, nothing. You'll regret it-" Church finally vanishes.

We all turn to each other before Tucker speaks. "So! Tex and Church were after the same girl."

"I told you his girlfriend was a slut." Caboose said simply.

"Hey Caboose, you can't say that about someone you don't even know." I defended Church's girlfriend. Before I could continue to speak, I suddenly noticed something from the right corner of my visor. Turning my head right, I froze.

"Steve? What's wrong?" Caboose asked. I only pointed towards where I was looking and the others turned to see what I saw.

Standing a few feet away, was a soldier in black armor and we all immediately could tell that this was the one Church warned us about.

Agent Texas.

* * *

**So there we have it. This is a story that will help me get back on my feet. Also, I'm a huge fan of the web series. With that, I have nothing left to say.**

**NexusLight, out.**

**Update: 5/11/2019 - Did a bit of editing.**


	2. Tex

**Hello! I know many of you are wondering that if I was this quick to make a second chapter a few days after the first, why the hell didn't I do the same with the others? Simply put, this story is easier to make because I'm not trying to find ways to mix two different franchises into each other and make a story out of it. This is an simply web series. I mean, yes, this web series is now a worldwide phenomenon, but it's still just a single web series. So, with that out of the way, let's get started!**

**Disclaimer:**** I own only the OC. **_**Red vs. Blue**_** is owned by Rooster Teeth**

* * *

**Episode 2 - Tex**

* * *

**Same Time Steve Arrived**

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**Simmons' POV**

"God, I should have known Grif would tried running before three." I mumbled to myself, remembering the incident that happened hours ago. The new guy, Donut, managed to somehow get the Blue's flag when me and Grif pranked him to going to the 'store' to get some 'elbow grease' and 'headlight fluid'. When Grif saw him being held at gunpoint by the Blues, we got the Warthog or Puma or whatever the fuck we call the car and went to save him.

Then that tank showed up and Grif, being the cockbite he is, tried to get to the jeep before I could say three!

When we got back to base, the tank was still shooting the jeep and I thought we were fucked! Thankfully, Sarge, who was returning from a meeting with Command, managed to call in an airstrike and destroy the tank. Sadly, the Warthog was severely damaged and Lopaz, our robot mechanic, was currently working on it. Sarge, meanwhile, was listening to what the fat fuck had to say.

_'BAM! BAM!'_

_'Machine gun firing'_

"Hey, guys, that's not funny! Somebody could get hurt here!" I suddenly heard gunfire from behind the base and Grif yelling. Seconds later, Grif came running up the left ramp and stopped upon reaching the top. _'Pant! Pant!' _"God damn it! Doesn't Sarge know anything about forgiving!?"

"Serves you right for trying to ditch me a few hours ago, you idiot! Besides, Sarge always forgives me when I make a mistake." I told him.

He only gave me an irritated look and flipped me the bird. "Fuck you, kiss-ass!"

I only smirked at him before looking back through the sniper rifle's lens to watch the Blue's base. _"Sucks to suck, Grif. At least I do what I'm- wait, what's_ _that?" _I thought to myself as I frowned and focused on someone approaching the base. "Who the hell-" I stopped when I saw his armor.

It was blue with a white trim.

I quickly set the rifle down before I rush past Donut, who was still holding the flag. "Whoa! Watch it!" He shouted at me.

"Simmons!? Where are you going!?" Grif shouted.

I ignored them as I reached the bottom of the right ramp before turning towards the back of the base. I quickly saw Sarge speaking with Lopez as the robot worked on the jeep. "Sarge!"

Sarge turned towards me as Lopez stopped to look as I stopped in front of our leader. "Simmons, I have no time for you to kiss my ass right now. Me and Lopez are working on fixing the-"

"Sarge! The Blues have a new soldier sir!"

Sarge was now looking at me with surprise. "What!? Another one!?"

* * *

**Time Skip**

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

**Steve's POV**

I sighed as I finished unpacking my stuff into my room. I had a few simple UNSC shirts, pants, boots, the latest versions of the long-lived iPad that had a theater mode so others could watch from a holographic screen, some comics from both long ago and newer, and a picture of me and my mom. I held said picture with small smile filled with happiness and sadness. Happy that my mom would be proud of joining the military, but the sadness was due to the absence of one other person: my dad.

Sighing, I set the picture down and reached for the button on the back of my helmet that allowed my to take it off.

_'BAM! BAM! BAM!'_

Before I was able to press it, gunfire erupted from the top of the base. I immediately rushed out of the room and exited the base. I quietly made my way towards the right ramp as I heard Tucker talking. "That's basically it, sir. They have five guys over there and a big jeep."

"And your flag." A deep voice spoke. I frowned when I heard Agent Texas' voice. My first impression of him isn't really positive. He showed up and immediately started to act like he was better then all of us. I know that Texas is isn't someone you would want to mess with. Anyone can tell just by looking at the guy, but what makes him think he can act like a total douche? Besides, I can say he's nothing compared to Master Chief becuase Master Chief is basically Chuck Norris in a super suit of armor.

"Right, that too." Tucker admitted in humiliation. I slowly made my way up the ramp and stopped halfway to stay out of sight.

_'BOOM!'_

An explosion forced me to cover my ears as I felt the air ripple from the shockwave.

Coughing a bit, Tucker continued speaking. "Uh, hey, Tex? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here."

Cocking an eyebrow, I raised my head up a bit to see what Tucker was talking about. My eyes widen when I saw Caboose with his back against one of the pillars of the base with bullet holes outlining him. "I'm scared." Caboose spoke in a terrified voice.

I look back at Tex and saw him loading another clip into his magnum. _"Alright, I've had it." _I glared at Tex for a second before moving back down the ramp and then head to the entrance behind the base

* * *

**No one's POV**

Tucker looked towards the right ramp upon hearing something. "Mmm?" He then turned back towards Tex as he continued to shoot an outline around Caboose. "So, you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see. Were you in the Special Forces at some point?"

Tex didn't respond as he fired his last bullet and released the empty clip from the magnum. "Yeah, I used to have black armor, too. It was-"

As the black armored freelancer was about to load the new clip into the gun, something circular hit the rim of the celling opening and ricocheted off towards Tex's empty gun.

_'BAM!'_

"Geh!" Tex grunted as his gun was knocked out of his hands as he watched along with the others as the circular object suddenly turned around in midair and back towards the opening. It quickly returned back to Steve's left arm and the owner glared at Tex. "That's enough!"

Tucker and Caboose looked amazed by what the new recruit pulled off while Tex only stared at him, obviously not happy about having his practice interrupted and his gun knocked out of his hands.

"Holy shit Steve!" Tucker yelled.

"That was awesome!" Caboose added before looking at Tex. "Oh no."

The newcomer didn't say anything as he watched the freelancer leap down from the roof and into the base. Tex then walked up to him and stared at Steve, who continued to glare at him. "Buddy, you have no idea of what kind of trouble you're getting into."

"No shit. I wouldn't have done it if you didn't turn Caboose into a target." Steve retorted.

He suddenly grabbed the blue and white soldier by his chest plate and lifted him slightly into the air. He pulled his fist and held it. "I don't need anyone to tell me how to prepare myself."

Steve only deepened his glare. "Not here asshole. You can do what you want to the enemy, but here at our base, you follow the rules and one of them is not using soldiers as targets. If you can't do that, then you aren't getting your pay."

Tex didn't say anything for a minute before letting out a huff. "Fine then, I'll follow your 'rules' pal." He released the soldier before turning away from him. "But know this, in war, those rules amount to nothing. All that matters is that you kill your enemies before they kill you."

Steve stared at Tex's back for a few seconds before speaking. "I don't want to kill anyone, I just don't like those that picks on the weak."

Tex didn't say anything before he proceeds to walk out of Blue Base. "I don't think he likes him." Steve overheard Caboose whisper to Tucker.

"Gee, what gives me that impression?" Tucker replied sarcastically before looking at the front of the base to see Tex heading out. "Where you going?"

Tex stopped and turned around to look at Tucker. "Red Base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back." He then turned around and headed in the direction of the Red's base.

"Oh, Okay!" Caboose yelled as Steve walked out a few feet from the base, still glaring at Tex. "We'll just stay here and guard the transporter." He finished as his voice lost it's volume.

All three privates remained silent until Tucker looked down at Steve. "Yo, Steve! How the hell did you do that!?" The aqua soldier asked in excitement.

* * *

**Time Skip**

**Steve's POV**

"So, let me get this straight. You had volunteered to help out with a new shielding device that was based off of the Covenant's energy shields and even used some of the same tech." Tucker began to recap. I nodded as he continued. "After they managed to get it to work, they allowed you to keep the one of the prototypes."

I nodded again. "Yep. During training, I began to wonder if it was possible to make the shield into something similar to that of Captain America's shield from the comics. So I got a good friend of mine to help and we begun working on making it into a throwable weapon." I then activated the shield to show Tucker. "It wasn't easy, but in the end, we achieved it. We even customized the look of it to look like Captain America's shield and integrated it into my armor." Finishing my explanation, I switched of the shield.

Tucker nodded. "Okay, but how the hell did you pull-"

_'BOOM'_

"Son of a bitch!" I shouted as an explosion echoed throughout the canyon.

"Son of a bitch!" Tucker shouted as well.

Looking towards where the sound came from, I saw Caboose looking through the sniper's lens at Red Base. "Caboose, what's going on over there?" I asked.

"Man, he is really kicking their asses." Caboose said and immediately I knew that he was referring to Tex.

"Guess he's starting." I simply said.

"How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle?" Tucker complained.

Caboose lowered the rifle and turned to use. "I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs."

"Sure makes things a lot easier on us." Tucker agreed.

"Yeah." Caboose then turned to Tucker and me. "I think switching Tex for Church was a good trade."

"Okay, first of all Caboose, we didn't switch Church for Tex because Church was accidently killed by you. Second, I would rather avoid having to deal with people like him." I disagreed.

Tucker looks at me with a confused look. "Why? If he kills the Reds, we don't have to worry about fighting them anymore."

"That's not the problem Tucker. The problem is what will happen **after** Tex kills them and gets the flag back." I emphasize the word 'after.' "What if he wants to charge us more money in exchange for the flag or what if the Reds offer a high pay then us and send Tex against us?" I look back at the Red base before finishing. "The fact of the matter is that Church is right. Mercenaries and freelancers are the same thing, they're only fighting for money and they'll do anything to get the highest amount, even if it means killing their employers."

"Jeez dude. You must of had a lot of experience with mercenaries for you to not trust them that much." Tucker commented.

I nodded. "Yeah. I do. I saw how low they would go back in when I was a kid."

"Really, what happened?" Tucker asked in surprise.

"To be honest, I can't really remember." I told him. "But whatever it was, took me months to recover." I grimaced as I remembered the time in hospital and the pain of trying to just move a figure. "When I was 17, during my military training, I had a run-in with another mercenary."

"What ha- Wait, your 17?" Tucker asked in astonishment.

"No, I was 17 when it happened." I corrected him

"Oh."

"I'm 18 now." I finished.

"..." Tucker and Caboose just stared at me. Tucker then turned to Caboose who looked back through the sniper's scope. "Did Tex get in the base?"

"Yeah." The blue soldier confirmed.

_"Blue Team, flag returned."_

Suddenly, a male voice spoke out from nowhere. All of us began to look around for the source.

"What the- who said that?" Tucker asked no one before turning around.

"Ahem." Someone behind use cleared their throat. Me and Caboose turned around and saw the ghost-like figure of Church pulling his hand away from his mouth. "Sorry. That was me. I, uh, I guess I had something stuck in my throat." He then pointed down at the area where the flag post is. "Your flag is back by the way."

"Hey! It's Church!" Caboose said in happiness.

"Church the Douchebag Ghost has finally returned." I said with a small smirk.

"Yeah, it's me. Hey, Caboose." Church greeted the blue soldier before lifting his left arm at me and flipping me off. "And go fuck yourself, Steve."

I laughed at his gesture. "Sorry. I just couldn't pass off the opportunity to make a joke."

"Hey, Church, what are you up to?" Caboose asked.

"Caboose-" Church began to laugh a little. "-I'm not really here to make small talk, OK? How'd you guys mange to get your flag back?" He asked.

Tucker looked at the flag with a worried expression before looking back at the ghost. "W-what? Oh. That flag? We've always had that."

"Tucker, who do you think you're trying to fool?" Church, not believing the aqua soldier's lie, said in a serious voice." He then suddenly realized something. "Hey, wat a second." The dead-man began to look around for something or someone. "Where's Tex?"

I let out a sigh before speaking. "Do you even need to ask? He ain't gone to a store to buy some shit that doesn't exist."

Church looked at me and then looked over at the Red's base before slapping a hand on his face. "Oh, great. This is so typical! What was the one thing I told you guys the last time I appeared?"

"That Sidwinder is cold?" Caboose spoke nervously.

"Ugh!" Sighing in frustration, Church looked back at us in irritation. "What was the other one thing I told you?"

"Not to let him get involved?" Tucker asked.

Church nodded. "Right. And what did you do?" He asked again.

"Knocked his gun out of his hands with my shield before he went to kill the Reds and get our flag back." I said indifferently. Looking around, I saw the others looking at me. "AKA, we let him get involved."

"And not just a little involved. How involved?"

"Very, very involved." Caboose said, looking at the ground in shame.

Church nodded before looking back at me. "Hey, what did you mean by knocking Tex's gun out with your shield?"

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**Inside the Base**

**No one's POV**

Tex's looked satisfied that his work was done, but before he could turn around, a gruff voice spoke up from behind him. "Freeze!"

Turning around, the freelancer saw the Reds' sergeant standing there with his M90 CAWS shotgun pointing at him. Then footsteps approached him from behind and turning around, the black armored mercenary saw a soldier in brown armor with an MA5B ICWS assault rifle pointed at him.

Tex then looked back at the sergeant with a glare. "Drop your weapon." Sarge ordered.

Scoffing, Tex did as he was told and dropped his magnum. Sarge walked closer to him and had his shotgun barrel pointed at the freelancer's head. "Hey, buddy."

"What?"

"You really better hope the first one knocks me out." Tex said smugly. In his head, Tex would duck just as the shot was fired, sweep Sarge's legs out from under him before throwing him at the brown armored soldier.

The sergeant stared at Tex for a moment before he suddenly moved his right hand from the handle and trigger to the grip the other side before quickly raising the shotgun up and slams the stock into Tex's head, knocking him unconscious, but not before on last thought ran through his mind.

_"Son of a b-."_

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

**On the Roof**

**Steve's POV**

I watched as one of the Red soldiers, the orange one, exited it before heading to the base's front entrance. "Well, something's happened. So this means Tex's either captured or dead." I tell the others.

"Why do I never get the sniper rifle?" Tucker complained.

"Ah! Or captured **and** dead!" Caboose shouted.

"Oh, well, that's just perfect!" Church yelled out. Putting away the sniper rifle, I turn to him with a frown.

Tucker also turned to him. "What!? What is your problem!? Why do you even care if he's captured!? I thought you hated that guy anyway for stealing your girlfriend."

I nodded in agreement. "Exactly. Besides, he's a freelancer. A mercenary. With the way you spoke about him, I thought you would hate people like him."

Church let out a sigh as he shook his head. "I never said I hated Tex. I just said that **she** was the reason why we never got married."

All three of us looked at the dead-man with confused looks. "She?" Caboose asked.

I suddenly put everything together and widen my eyes as I looked back at the Red base. _"No way. Does he mean that Tex is-"_

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**Prison Cell**

**No one's POV**

Everyone was standing in front of the prison cell, the brown soldier, Lopez, pointing his gun at an unconscious Tex while Grif did nothing as Simmons told Sarge the condition of their new recruit, Donut.

"Sarge, we need to get Donut air-lifted out of here." The marron soldier spoke with a worried voice.

Sarge only gave him a frustrated look. "Could you put that in a memo and entitle it 'Shit I already know!" Get on the horn with Command!"

_'Rustle'_

Suddenly, a noise drew everyone's attention to the prison cell and saw their prisoner standing back up in a bit of a daze. Simmons and Grif both got their weapons ready Sarge gave Tex a smug look. "Well, looks who's up. Rise 'n shine, buttercup."

Suddenly, sparks fly off Tex's helmet as a distorted voice was all that came out, greatly confusing the Reds, apart from Lopez.

_'Click!'_

A click was heard and then Tex was silent for a few seconds before looking at all the soldiers on the other side of the bars. "Oh, great! You broke my voice filter. You cock biting fucktards!"

Everyone blinked in surprise upon hearing a _female_ voice come out of the freelancer. "Ah hah!" Grif then put the bottom of his right fist on his left hands palm. "I knew it! Only a chick could give me a headache this big!"

* * *

**This is the end of chapter two. We finally meet Tex and as you can see, she and Steve don't really see eye-to-eye. However, as things progress, the two will get along and become friends. I probably won't post the next part up soon because I'm going to be seeing Avengers: Endgame. From what the current reviews say, this is going to be one hell of a roller-coaster.**

**Until then, NexusLight out!**

**Edit: 5/11/2019 - Bit of editing.**


	3. Saving Freelancer Tex

**Hey everyone. NexusLight here. So, I'm not going to say anything here. So, let's get started!**

**Disclaimer:**** I own only the OC. _Red vs. Blue_ is owned by Rooster Teeth**

* * *

**_Episode 3: Saving Freelancer Tex_**

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

**Base Roof**

**Steve's POV**

"So, let me get this straight. You're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of two of us, shot at Caboose, lifted Steve with one hand, and beat the hell out of the Reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick?" Tucker asked in disbelief. "And on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?"

Church nodded. "In a nutshell, yes. That's an excellent summary."

"Damn. She's one strong woman." I added.

"I should have known. She didn't like me." Caboose said before looking down in depression. "Girls never like me."

"Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you." Tucker said with a deadpanned voice.

I sigh at what the aqua soldier said as Caboose gets more depressed. "I like me."

Walking up behind him, I pull my left hand back before hitting the back of the perverted soldier's head.

_'SMACK!'_

"Ow!" Tucker yelled as he stumbled forwards a bit before looking back at me with a glare. "What the hell man!?"

"One, because you deserved it, moron. Second, I disagree with that because I actually like Caboose." I told him as I looked at Caboose, who brightened up at my words. "Caboose, don't let that shit get to you. It's best to just be who you are and to not let anyone say otherwise."

Caboose smiled at me, the depression seemingly vanished. "Thanks Steve!"

Nodding at my fellow private, I turn back to Tucker and Church. "Right, let's get back on topic."

They nodded before Tucker turns to Church. "I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before. Are you sure she's a chick and not a guy, or like part guy, part shark?"

I shudder at the idea of something like that as Church blankly stares at Tucker. "I'm pretty sure I would know if Tex was a guy, and I'm definitely sure I would know if she was part shark."

"Are you sure you checked?" I questioned jokingly.

All Church does is glare at me before Caboose jumps in. "Wait, wait, wait." Everyone turns to look at Caboose. "If she's a girl, then why is she named Texas?"

Church looks at Caboose with a blank expression. "Uh, because she's from Texas." He responded. Caboose doesn't understand it and just looks more confused. "Trust me, it makes sense." He then turns back to me and Tucker. "And you can't blame her for being so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with."

"Right. You should blame God. First, he makes hangovers, and now half women, half sharks that won't even sleep with me." Tucker then looks up the sky. "Thanks for nothing, God."

"Don't you ever think about anything except sex?" I asked Tucker in mock amazement.

"Not really."

"Will you shut up with that!" The dead-man orders before continuing. "She got recruited into some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where they infused her armor with this really aggressive A.I. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell."

Caboose looks confused by this. "A.I... What's the A stand for?"

"Artificial." Church answered.

The blue soldier nods as he looks the other way before looking back at the ghost. "What's the I-"

"Intelligence!" Church answered before Caboose could finish.

"Ohhh! What was the A again?" Caboose for a moment thought he understood before looking confused again.

"Caboose. An A.I. stands for artificial intelligence meaning it's basically a computer that's able to think and learn like a human at a much faster rate. However, only smart A.I. are like that. There are different types, but smart A.I. are very important for the military because of their abilities. That's why they're used in UNSC frigates and some can be used to govern over cities." I told Caboose as everyone looked at me. "...What?"

"How the hell do you know that much?" Church asked.

"Because it's important to learn about the key assists of the military. After all, knowledge is just as important in war as anything else." I said. "Besides, A.I. are very, very important to humanity. Without them, humanity would probably be done by now."

Everyone nodded except Caboose, who still looked confused, before Church spoke. "Let's move on."

"So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer, but underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down home girl?" Tucker asked.

Church only scoffed. "Oh, hell no. She's always been a rotten bitch. It's just that now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements."

Tucker and I only stared at Church with deadpanned expressions. "Wow! Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Good catch there, buddy. She's a keeper." Tucker spoke in fake admiration.

"So in reality, you were completely fucking wiped." I told Church my thoughts.

"Don't tell me shit I already know." The dead-man spoke in frustration before looking at Caboose. "So how are you doing, Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?"

Me and Tucker turned to look at the blue soldier as he looked at Church with a bit of uncertainty. "I think so. That guy Tex is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot!"

"PFFFF- HAHAHAHA!" Me and Tucker fell to the ground in a fit of laughter from what Caboose said as Church looked at him blankly. "Yeah, that's right. I'm a gay robot."

"Oh my God! My stomach! My stomach hurts!"

"I- I wish I had recorded that! That's one of the funniest things to ever come out of Caboose's mouth yet!"

"Will you two shut the fuck up!"

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**Prison Cell**

**No one's POV**

Tasked with guarding the prisoner, Simmons and Grif stood in front of the cell that held Tex. Simmons had his rifle pointed at her while Grif hand his magnum in his left hand.

"So." Grif decided to stir a conversation with Tex. "You're a girl, huh?" All she did was stare at him blankly.

Simmons shook his head a bit at Grif's comment. "Just ignore him. That's what I do."

Grif looked at the marron soldier in annoyance before looking smugly at Tex. "Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are you?"

"Hey punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you." Tex warned the orange soldier.

Scoffing, the fat man only crossed his arms. "Yeah, right! What are you gonna do, punch me?"

Tex looked down at her fist and shrugged before suddenly rushing forwards a bit and stopped before the bars. This was enough to make Grif lose his smug attitude and rush backwards in fear. "Ahh! Not in the face!"

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

**Roof**

"Well, don't worry, because I have a great plan for how we're going to rescue Tex." Church told the three soldiers.

"A plan?" Tucker cried before his shoulder sagged. "Oh, man, I hate plans. That means we're going to do stuff. Can't we just have a strategy or a mission statement?" He complained.

Church sighed at Tuckers whining. "I just need you guys to run a distraction while I spring Tex."

"Distraction? Huh. That sounds a lot like decoy." Caboose asked.

"Woah, hold on Church. Why should we help her?" Steve questioned Church.

"Because I said so." Church tells him.

The new guy only shook his head. "Yeah, I don't think so."

"What!? You just can't say no! That's an order!" Church yelled at Steve.

"Actually, you can't give orders because you're not the leader. From what I heard, you were never promoted by Commander after your Captain died." The white and blue soldier pointed out. "Besides, I don't see any reason why we need to. She showed up here and proceed to use Caboose as a target and from what you said, she was a total bitch. I would like to see those as reasons to dislike her."

Church tried to speak but stopped himself and remained silent for a few seconds before looking at the ground. Steve watched him stare at the ground before sighing. "Hey Tucker, Caboose, do you mind if I speak with him for a bit?"

The two looked at each other before heading down the left ramp as Steve looked at Church. "You still love her, don't you?"

Church looked at him before nodding. "...I knew she was selfish bitch who would steal my money and sleep with other guys. But at the same time, she knew I was an egotistic asshole who's hopeless at keeping one job and had horrible luck with women. We both knew this, and that's probably what led us to meet each other. She needed me, and I needed her." He admitted.

Steve only looked at Church, but he didn't see a ghost with an ego that rivaled that was as big as the canyon itself. He saw a man who was missing the half he needed to feel complete.

"Alright." He said as Church looked at him. "I'll help you bust Tex out."

Church looked confused by Steve's sudden change as he continued talking. "She maybe, as you said, a bitch, but I just can't let her rot in the enemy base and let you suffer because of my disagreement with her methods. If I did, my dad would probably comeback from the grave and haunt my ass until I agreed."

He then looked Church square in the face. "So, how are we going to do this?"

**5 Minutes Later**

After taking a few minutes, Steve called Tucker and Caboose back up to discuss the plan. "The way I see it, the Reds have absolutely no idea how many freelancers we have out here." Church started. "So, all I need from the two of you is to run around in the middle of the canyon wearing black armor while me and Steve sneak in the back of the base."

"Wait. Why is Steve going with you?" Caboose asked.

"Because the Reds are more then likely going to have one or two of their guys watching Tex. Church, being a ghost, will possess their sergeant and distract them long enough so I can sneak in and get Tex out." Steve told them.

Tucker nodded, approving the plan. "Sounds good. But Church where the hell are we going to get two suits of black armor?"

All Church did was look at the teleporter and Tucker followed his gaze before realizing what was going to happen. "Oh, fuckberries."

**Time skip**

At the teleporter exit, Church and Steve watched as Tucker appeared, his armor now black.

"Are you OK, Tucker?" Church asked.

Tucker nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Weird. I've been through plenty of teleporters and none of them have ever done that." Steve commented as he looked at Tucker's armor.

"We don't understand either." Tucker agreed before running up the hill with Church and Steve following. Once at the top, Tucker yelled to Caboose. "Come on, Caboose!"

"Does it hurt?" He yelled back.

"No, not at all." Tucker replied.

"OK! Here I come!" He then turned towards the teleporter and walked in.

Church then looked at Tucker. "Does it hurt for real?"

"Oh yeah. Big time." Tucker admitted in amusement.

Steve only shook his head. "You are a fucking child, you know that?"

"Whatever." Tucker dismissed what Steve said as all three of them looked towards the teleporter exit.

Just then, Caboose popped out, now covered in black soot. "Ow! Geez!" He then turned to look at Tucker with a glare. "You lied to me."

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**Roof**

"Ah, damn it!" Sarge cursed as he spotted something moving. "Lopez, c'mere."

Lopez rushed to the red leader's side immediately with a sniper rifle and looked at him, awaiting further instructions. "Do you see something out there?" Sarge asked. Lopez quickly looked into the rifle's scope as the camera moves down the opening in the roof to show Grif and Simmons.

"There's no L in it. It's pronounced 'both.'" Simmons argued.

"That's what I'm saying. Bolth." Grif said, not pronouncing the word "both" right.

"Both."

"You sound like such an ass the way you say it."

Before the pointless argument could continue, Sarge yelled down the opening. "Grif! Quit yer yammerin' and get yer keester up here! Need some help. Got more of them Special Ops fellas headed toward the base."

Grif quickly got into the sergeants view. "An in more than one?" Grif asked in worry. "Uh, maybe we should bolth go, sir."

"Both!" Simmons quickly corrected the orange soldier as he backed up to Grif's left.

"Seriously, man. Like an ass."

"Well, well. Another brilliant idea from the think tank." Sarge spoke sarcastically. "Why don't you both come up? Leave the prisoner alone. We can just put her on the honor system, have her guard herself."

"Good point, sir." Simmions said as he went into 'kiss-ass mode.'

"You're God damn right it is!" The red leader yelled, his patience thinning. "Now git yer ass up here. We got just enough time for me to spray paint the bullseye on your back." He paused for a second before realizing he gave away his plan to get the lazy soldier killed. "And by bullseye, I of course mean camouflage. Now move it, cupcake."

Grif only sighed. "Yeah, I'll be right up." He then began to head to the exit at the back of the base.

* * *

**Cliff**

**Steve's POV**

Me and Church watched from the cliff to wait for a chance for Church to sneak in and distract the soldiers so I could get in to the base and break Tex out. Church was looking through his sniper rifle while I used my helmet's build-in telescope to watch. We saw the orange soldier appear from the back of the base and making his way to the base's left ramp.

Church then spoke through the radio. "Hey, Tucker, come in, man. You there? This is Church. It's working. The orange one is coming out of the base. I repeat-"

* * *

**Behind a Boulder**

**Tucker's POV**

**_"-The orange one is coming out of the base."_** Church's voice rang in my radio.

"Roger that." I replied.

"Oh, oh! Tucker, Tucker, Tucker!" Caboose suddenly got close to me, forcing me to move back a little. "Is that- is that Church?"

_**"OK, Tucker. You and Caboose just keep moving forwards towards the base, keep their attention on you so we can move in."**_ Steve ordered as Caboose tried to tell me to say hi to Church.

Turning towards the cliff the two were on, I spoke back to him. "Wait, wait, wait. Hey, what? I missed that. Caboose is talking to me." I then turned back to the retard. "Shut up, man, I'm on the radio!"

* * *

**Cliff**

**Church's POV**

"He said just keep moving-" I was trying to tell them what Steve said before Tucker started talking again.

**_"I'm not yelling! I'm just telling you to let me finish talking to Church!" _**Steve and I looked at each other before looking back at the boulder the two idiots were at. **_"No, I'll tell him you said hi later. No, you can't talk to him! How could you possibly talk to him on my headset?"_**

I shut off my radio as Steve did the same before face palming. "Oh, my God. I can't believe I actually died for this war."

First, I'm assigned to a shit hole in the middle of no where. Then my captain dies in his sleep. Finally, the rookie gets me killed with our goddamn tank!

"It's even worse when you know that this war is completely pointless to begin with." Steve added.

"Yeah."

Steve stood up and turned to me. "Alright Church. It's time for you part."

"Right." I turn to head to down the other trail to the canyon floor before I stopped myself to look back the newcomer. "Also Steve."

He looked at me in confusion. "Yeah?"

I sighed as I was about to say something I try not to make myself look soft. "...I want to say... thanks for listening to me. I never could say that about me and Tex with the others."

I didn't say anything before giving me a thumbs up. "No problem man."

Nodding, I continued down the trail. As I did, I did a mental comparison between me and him.

Well... Letting go of my ego for a bit, I would have to say that between the two of us, Steve is probably a better leader then I am. No, he **is** a better leader then me. He genuinely cares about me and the others like Captain Flowers did, but he takes his responsibilities as a soldier much more serious and seems to work well with others, even an asshole like myself. He's even a great strategist, given that he helped work out a few faults with my plan.

I wouldn't be too surprised if he was promoted anytime soon.

However, I was confused by why I felt like I could tell him how I felt about Tex.

Why did I feel like I could trust him that much?

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**Roof**

**No one's POV**

As Church made his way to the back of the base, Grif, now with the sniper rifle, is looking through the scope to spot the two black armored soldiers. "I don't see any- uh oh." He quickly changes his response as he spots Caboose running into his line of sight. "Yep, there's one."

To the fat soldier's suddenly gets confused as the 'special ops' soldier reaches the boulder he was heading to and stops in front of it, still in view. "Why is he just standing there?"

**On the Ground**

"Caboose! Get behind the rock. They can still see you." Tucker yelled to Caboose from the hill.

Caboose only shook his head, believing they couldn't see him. "They can't see me! I can't see them."

Tucker sighed at Caboose's stupidity. "That's because you're facing the rock."

Turning to his right, Caboose finally realized he was still visible. "Oh, right." He then quickly moved behind the boulder.

Face palming, Tucker shook his head. "Real smooth, dipshit."

**Base Roof**

"They're definitely Special Ops." Sarge nodded to himself as Church came up the left ramp. "I ain't seen troop movements this coordinated since my days on Sidewi- wa-kika-herger!" He was cut off as the ghost quickly took over his body.

Both Lopez and Grif quickly turned to their leader's sudden spasm. "Sir? Are you OK?"

Church, now in Sarge's body, looked at the orange soldier. "Uh, who you talking to, Red? Me?"

"No, I'm talking to Lopez because, you know, that's real rewarding." Grif said sarcastically. Lopez turned to Grif before punching his right arm. Grif moved to the left a little and glared at the brown soldier as he rubbed his arm. "Hey, what did I tell you about that?"

Church quickly saw Steve out of the corner of his eye coming down the cliff before stopping to look at Church. He quickly gave the OK hand gesture before Church nodded and looked back at the two soldiers. "Uh, I'm fine."

He then walked in between the two soldiers until he was in front of them both, drawing their attention onto him. "I'm gust so mad about- these, uh, God damn Blues out here." He shook his fist in front of him to make it look like he was angry. "I'm so God damn mad, I could spit." He then proceeds to spit, only for the glob of saliva to hit the Red sergeant's visor.

All three of them were silent as Steve snuck up on the back of the base. Grif was then the first to speak. "Um, sir? Did you just spit inside your own helmet?"

"Uh, yeah." Church admitted in disgust by his action as he turned to face the orange soldier. "I guess I did."

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" Grif asked.

"Go ahead."

"That's really fuckin' gross."

**With Caboose and Tucker**

"Hey, Tucker?" Caboose quietly spoke to the other Blue soldier as they were both crouched behind the same boulder.

Looking at Caboose, Tucker replied. "What?"

"I'm having a really good time with you-"

"That's great, Caboose." Tucker cut off Caboose, clearly not wanting to listen to him.

"Yeah, it's like we're real soldiers!" Caboose said, enjoying the operation that he should be taking seriously.

Tucker frowned at Caboose. "Would you please go hide behind another rock?"

* * *

**Behind Red Base**

**Steve's POV**

Okay, Church is keeping those two on top distracted. Now I just need to get in their and break Tex out. I looked back at the Warthog the Reds had, grinning at the little 'surprise' I left them if they try to give chase.

Looking back at the rear entrance, I quietly made my way in as Church, possessing the sergeant's body, kept talking to the other two up top.

Reaching the wall, I quietly moved along it until I reach the right opening and take a quick look inside. There was a marron soldier with an assault rifle, in the center of the room was what appeared to be the Red flag, and behind in front of the marron soldier was a prison cell and in it was the main objective of the mission, Agent Texas.

I activated my shield and quickly calculated the angle I need to throw at hit the guard's head before I brought my arm back and swung it forwards, sending the shield flying towards the corner on the opposite side of the opening.

Hitting the right wall first, the shield quickly hit the left wall before flying into the room.

_'BAM!'_

"Ow! Geez, the back of my head!" I heard the soldier cry out as the shield returned back to my arm.

"What the hell?" I heard Tex yell, clearly not expecting an energy shield to fly out of no where.

Walking around the corner, I make my way to the marron soldier and dragged him over to the scanner at the side of the cell.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I hear Tex ask me, clearly not expecting someone like me to be here.

"What's it look like? Me and the others are bustin' you out." I simply said as I finish dragging the soldier to the scanner before placing his left hand on the screen. A green bar moves up and then down before going completely green.

I let him go as I watch the bars retract back into the floor. "I didn't need your help." She bluntly tells me.

"Your situation tells me differently." I countered. "Believe me, I would have left you here if someone didn't convince me otherwise."

"Convinced you?" Tex asked before scoffing. "Yeah right. I can't think of anyone who would have anything positive to say about me."

"Actually, there is someone." I responded. "His name is Church and he told me you two use to date each other."

She looked surprise by what I said. "Church? I thought he was dead."

"Well... you could say he is." I told the black armored freelancer, which only made her more confused. "Look, you can see for yourself once we get back to base. Right now, we need to get moving." I then walked to the Red flag and grabbed the pole with my hands before pulling from it's stand.

"Why are you taking that?" Tex asked.

I only shrugged my shoulders. "Well, they managed to take our flag, so I call this payback." We then made our way back to the rear entrance.

* * *

**Base Roof**

**Church's POV**

"Did you hear something?" The orange soldier asked upon hearing a faint noise from inside the base. In the left corner of my vison, I saw Tex and Steve heading towards the trail that ran alongside canyon wall.

"What's, uh- why, I didn't hear nothin'. Why would you ask if I heard something?" I asked him.

He became more confused by what I said. "Uh... Isn't that a normal question if I heard something."

"Yeah, well, I don't know. You're startin' to act kind of suspicious there, orange... Red guy. So I'm keepin' my eye on you." I told him.

"Sarge, I think that-"

"That nothin', orange guy! You two get back to keeping an eye on those other Special Ops soldier. I'll keep an eye at the other end." I ordered. The brown one didn't complain and did as he was told. The fat one looked baffled by what I said before shrugging his shoulders and doing the same. I head the back of the base and stopped before looking back to see if the two were looking.

Seeing the coast was clear, I jump out of the sergeant's body. "Hurk!"

I quickly jump down as the red leader falls to his knees and the two others, hearing their sergeant's sudden spasm, rush over to him, asking if he was all right. I then rush over to the boulder Caboose and Tucker were at.

"Hey, Church!" Caboose said joyfully.

"So, did he bust her out?" Tucker asked.

I nodded. "Yep, let's get moving!" I ordered before all three of us rush back to the base.

* * *

**Red Base Roof**

**No one's POV**

Groaning, Sarge finally regained his sight. "What in Sam Hill? Where the-" He stopped when he saw the spit on his visor. "Who spit on my visor?" He asked in disgust.

"Um, you did, sir." Grif, who was standing to Sarge's right, told him.

Sarge looked baffled by that and was about to respond when Simmons came up the right ramp. Grif looked at him as Sarge took his helmet off, revealing a gruff-looking man with a stubble, yellow hair that was cut in a military fashion that was going gray at the sides, and steel-grey eyes with a scar going over the left one. He began to clear off his visor as the fat soldier noticed Simmons holding his head. "What the hell happened to you?"

Simmons only shook his head. "I don't know. Something hit the back of my head and I was knocked out." Shaking his head, he looked at the others. "Guys, we have a problem."

Sarge looked at the marron soldier. "What?"

"The prisoner and the flag are both gone, sir."

Everyone, except Lopez, looked alarmed. "What!? How the hell did-" Sarge began before Grif tapped his shoulder. "Grif, we don't have time for your bullshit right now!"

"Yeah, I'm guessing me pointing out **that** is bullshit then?" The fat soldier said as he pointed at the cliff. Looking at it, all the Reds saw a black and blue figure running off the cliff trail and towards Blue base, the blue figure holding something red.

They didn't say anything before Sarge broke the silence. "Well, shit."

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

**Steve's POV**

Upon reaching the base, Tex and I headed to the roof to meet up with the others. Once up there, I saw Caboose helping Tucker wash off the black soot from his aqua armor and Church was standing there. Hearing our footsteps, he turned around to meet us.

"Um... Hey Tex." He greeted her.

She looked at his specter form as I spoke. "Mission complete. And I brought back a little bonus too." I then showed him the Red's flag.

He looked at it before looking back at me. "Alright man. Great job. You might want to call Command to inform them." He told me.

Nodding, I walk back down the left ramp and walked a few feet away from the base before getting on the radio. "Command. This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Come in Command."

**_"Hello dude, this Blue Command._****_" _**I hear Vic's voice come out from the speakers.

"Vic, this is Private Steve Walker. I have a report to bring in." I responded.

**_"Okay, let's see here. _****_Walker... W-W-Wallllllkkeer- Aha! Here we go. OK, go ahead dude."_**

"Right. We've successfully manage to rescue freelancer Agent Texas from the Red's base and while doing so, we've manage to successfully capture the enemy flag. Casualties: None." I informed.

**_"Alrighty, my man! Good job with the rescue mission and capturing the flag. I'll be sure to get this to the big cheese here."_**

"Thank you Command. That's all I have then."

**_"Alright then, my man. Before you sign off, just one more thing to inform you about."_**

"Umm, OK. Go ahead Command." I said in confusion.

**_"We've been told by both Privates Tucker and Caboose about you actions and behavior so far during the short time you've been there and you've made the nice list early before Christmas._****_"_**Vic informed me. **_"Because of that, it's been decided you are promoted to Sergeant rank as of today and officially making you the commanding officer of Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Congratulations dude!"_**

The sound of cheering and horns filled my speakers. I went wide eyed for a few seconds before responding. "W-Well, thank you, Command. I'll be sure to do my best here. Sergeant Walker out."

I then make my back to the ramp and meet up with Church, who was just finishing talking to Tex before looking at me. "So, how'd it go?"

I nodded to indicate it went well. "Good. They also had some news for me."

"Well, what is it?" He asked as Tucker and Caboose came over.

"Umm... I've been officially promoted by Command to be the commanding officer of Blue base." I told him as the rest of the guy looked at me in amazement. "Starting today, I'm Sergeant Walker."

_'BBBBOOOOOMMMM!'_

Suddenly, an explosion rang from the other side of the canyon. All of us looked in the direction of Red base and saw smoke coming from it.

"What the hell was that!?" Tucker asked.

I gave a small laugh before answering. "That's a little 'surprise' I left in their Warthog if they decided to try and get their flag back."

"What you do?" Caboose asked.

"Using a bit of string, tape, and grenade, I rigged it so if they drove forwards-" I then pointed at the smoke. "-that happens."

* * *

**All right, chapter 3 is done. I hope you enjoy it because I defiantly enjoyed making it. Although, not as much as seeing Avengers: Endgame. The movie was everything I was hoping for times a million. I highly recommend to check this movie out because it's spectacular.**

**With that, NexusLight out!**

**Edit: 4/29/2019 - Changed Sarge's look.**

**Update: 5/11/2019 - Edited.**


	4. Dude Perfect

**Hey everyone. NexusLight here and welcome to Episode 4. The title, as you can guess, is appropriate considering what Donut manages to pull off. Of course, it's going to suck for the Blues, mainly Tex . So, with that, let's get started!**

**Disclaimer:**** I own only the OC. _Red vs. Blue_ is owned by Rooster Teeth**

* * *

**_Episode 4: Dude Perfect_**

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**Roof**

**No one's POV**

"Dude, this is sweet!" The new Red recruit, Donut, says with excitement as the camera moves up to show him in pink armor. "Command was so happy that I got the Blue flag, they gave me my own color armor!"

Grif and Simmons glanced at each other with uncertain expressions. Both soldiers had their helmet's off due to the lack of combat. Grif had a wild, unkept brown hair, a chinstrap beard, and blue eyes. Simmons, meanwhile, had lime colored eyes and curtained light-brown hair and a small ponytail at the back. His face was much sharper then the fat soldier's.

Donut also had his helmet off, showing he was a man with blond hair that was combed over to the right with sky-blue eyes.

Looking back at Donut, Grif was the first to speak. "Uh, hey, Donut?"

"What?" The pink soldier asked.

Simmons spoke next. "Um, about your armor."

Donut raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What about it?"

"How do I put this? Your armor is, um- it's a little, um-" Simmons the turned to Grif, wanting him to say it. "Grif, you want to help me out here?"

"It's pink." The orange soldier bluntly says with an unimpressed expression. "Your armor is frickin' pink."

Nodding, Simmons turns back to Donut. "Yeah, that's it. Pink."

The rookie blinked a few times. "Pink? My armor's not pink!" He says in denial.

"Pink." Grif says unamused.

"Yeah, definitely pink." The marron soldier agrees.

"You guys are colorblind." The pink recruit says stubbornly. "Why would they five me pink armor?"

Grif shrugs his shoulders. "Hey, don't ask, don't tell." He jokes before he begins to laugh to himself.

Simmons glances at the orange soldier, unamused by the joke. "That's not funny."

Grif settles down before responding. "It's a little funny."

"Look at it!" Donut then spreads his arms out to fully show his armor. "It's not pink. It's, like, uh, a lightish red."

"Guess what. They already have a color for lightish red. You know what it's called? **Pink.**" Grif says as he continues to hammer in the fact.

Donut only looks at them annoyed. "I hate you guys."

Second's latter, Sarge comes the left ramp with Lopez behind him. "Well, hello, dirtbags." Grif rolls his eyes as all three of the soldiers turn to face their sergeant, who turns to looks at Donut with smirk. "And a fine hello to you, Madame."

Sarge let's out a chuckle as Donut gives him an annoyed look. "It's light red!"

"Don't get your panties in a wad there, Barbie." Sarge says before giving an expecting look. "Do you have a package for me?"

"Yes, sir." He nods before holding a card in front of him.

"Excellent." The Red leader says.

"They said this speech unit should work with Lopez." Donut then proceeds to hand the speech unit to Sarge. "Here you go."

Grif looks at the unit with a confused expression. "Speech unit?"

"Affirmative." Sarge says as he walks behind Lopez before looking at Grif. "Command was fresh out of speech modules when I started building Lopez, but once I get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone intelligent to talk to." He then looked at Simmons. "No offense, Simmons."

The marron soldier just waved it off. "Oh, don't worry. I know who you meant, sir."

"Wait a second." Grif looks at Simmons, still baffled by the discovery of Lopez actually being a robot. "Lopez is a robot."

Simmons turns to Grif with a frown. "Of course, he is. You didn't notice that he never talks?"

The orange shrugged his shoulders. "I just thought he was a really quiet guy."

"And the fact that he sleeps standing up and drinks motor oil didn't get your attention?" Sarge added.

"Well, I- I did think that the motor oil thing was a bit odd." Grif admitted. "I just thought he was trying to impress me."

Turning back to his father-like figure, Simmons frowned as he saw Sarge about to insert the unit. "Hey, sir, you really should ground yourself before handling that card."

"How come?" The leader asks.

"Because static could damage the card."

Sarge just waved Simmons warning off as he turned back to Lopez. "Come on, that's an urban legend they use the sell those stupid bracelets."

Grif and Simmons looked at each other with unsure expressions as Sarge began to insert the unit into Lopez's head. "And I suppose Pop Rocks and soda are gonna make my stomach blow up."

_'Static'_

"Yow!" As he inserted the card, static covered Lopez, forcing Sarge to jump back holding his right hand.

"Sir, I won't say I told you so, sir." Simmons quickly said, not wanting to upset the Red leader.

"Good." Sarge said as he looked form the marron soldier to Donut. "I'd hate to make Strawberry Shortcake here my new favorite private."

Donut shook his head in frustration. "It's not pink! **It's lightish red!**"

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

"As far as I'm concerned, I'm square with you." Tex told Church as Caboose and Tucker stood from the side lines. She had taken off her helmet now that she wasn't in combat. Tex almost looked like Scarlet Johansson's portrayal of the Black Widow only with shorter hair and brown eyes. She also had a mole on the right side of her face that was above her lips and freckles below her eyes.

All of the guys, except for Steve due to him being in the base to handle the paperwork that would acknowledge him as the commanding officer of the base and squad, had their helmets off. Church had black hair in a quiff style, green eyes, and a goat pact on his chin.

Tucker is now revealed to be black with a cornrows hairstyle and brown eyes.

Caboose, meanwhile, had fade blond hair and blue eyes.

Tucker and Caboose turned from Tex to Church as he frowned at what she said. "I saved you from a life of imprisonment. How the hell are you square with me?"

The two then turned back to Tex, who had a bored look on her face. "First, you didn't save me because your new leader was the one to bust me out. Secondly, I'm square with you because I didn't kill you back at Sidewinder."

They then focused back on Church. "You know, I help don't really see how not killing somebody is the same thing as doing them a favor. Also, Steve might of busted you out, but the plan was my idea."

Again, the two looked back at Tex, who scoffed at her ex-boyfriend. "Well, if you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now."

"No, you can't!" Church yelled with a smirk as he gestured to his specter self. "I'm already dead, bitch! I guess the joke's on you."

"Stop it! Stop fighting!" Caboose cried, causing the others to focus on him. "Can't you see that you're tearing us apart?" He then looked at the red-haired woman. "What about us!?"

She only raised an eyebrow at the blue idiot. "What about you?"

"We helped you, too." He argued, tears forming on the edges of his eyes. "And what do we get? Nothing!"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Hey, what's all the yelling about!?" Tex was cut off as Steve's voice came from the base. Everyone turned to see the new leader of the Blues walking towards them without his helmet, revealing a rather attractive young man with regular brown hair and silver eyes.

The guys were surprised by his appearance, as they were expecting him to look a little more... younger. Even Tex, the tough, badass soldier, couldn't help but blush a little at his appearance. She lost it once the sergeant was in front of them all.

"Oh, hey Steve." Church greeted before looking at Tex. "We're arguing with Tex here about her owing us a favor for saving her from a life of imprisonment."

He nodded as Tex continued. "I did help them get the flag back."

"Yeah, but you were paid to do that." Tucker countered. "We rescued you as a favor. We could have just let you rot in the Red Army prison. It wouldn't have made any difference to us."

Steve gave Church a sideways glance before joining in. "They have a point. You owe us."

Sighing, she placed a hand to her face. "Fine. I'll stay here as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing." She then looks at the Blue sergeant square in the face. "As soon as I have, I'm out of here."

"Deal." Steve said as he held his left hand out. Tex grabbed it with her right hand and the two shook hands.

The black armored freelancer then spoke to the whole group. "What do you need me to do?"

"I can't really think of anything, but I'm sure the others can." The blue and white soldier suggested.

"If you knew how to fix a tank, I would have you do that." Tucker said.

Tex looked at the aqua soldier before nodding. "Okay."

Caboose suddenly gained a surprised look. "Wait. You- you know how to fix Sheila?" Tex looked confused by what he said but nodded anyways. The blue soldier then gained a big smile on his face. "I love you."

"Who's Sheila?" Steve suddenly asked.

Everyone suddenly looked at him before Church remembers he was still relatively new. "Oh… right. I forgot about her."

**Red Base**

When we left the Reds, Sarge had installed a voice unit into their mechanical repair robot Lopez. However, when Sarge got it into to brown robot, static erupted from the droid's body. While it didn't appear anything was wrong, the speech unit had malfunctioned and as a result...

_"Entonces le decía 'tu no pesas más, yo peso más.' Entonces pusimos nuestros cuerpos sobre la escala y determinamos quién tenía el peso más grande. Después de eso me llamé a mi mismo López La Pesado."*****_ Lopez said.

Instead of English, Lopez now spoke _español_.

Simmons and Grif only looked baffled, not understanding a single word that was said, while Donut was indifferent.

"Man." Grif spoke as he looked at the marron soldier. "First he doesn't talk at all, and now we can't get him to shut up. What's he saying?"

Simmons gave the fat soldier a raised eyebrow. "What are you asking me for?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Grif replied. "Well, you know, because you're of, uh, the Latino persuasion."

"Simmons isn't a Spanish name, you dumbass." The intelligent soldier replies with a frown before pointing his left thumb at himself. "I'm Dutch Irish."

"But I thought-"

"What?" Simmons cut Grif off, giving a look that dared him to finish that sentence.

Grif only sighed. "Oh, never mind.

Donut only looked between the two during the silence before smiling. "I'm from Iowa."

""Nobody cares!""

* * *

**Near the Tank**

**Steve's POV**

All of us made our way over to the cliff where the tank was. Once it came into view, I whistled in amazement.

"Wow, you guys weren't kidding! I've never seen a real Scorpion before." He said in excitement.

Church gave him a confused look. "Scorpion? What kind of name is that?"

"Because of the four sets of treads that allow it to move and the position of the main cannon. All those features make it look like a scorpion." I explained to him.

Tucker only looked at me and then the tank before back to me. "Umm, it-"

"It just looks like a scorpion, okay." I cut Tucker off, not wanting to get into some stupid name suggestion game of what the tank should be called.

He sighed before all of us turned to look at the tank. It was wasn't completely too badly damaged. The main problem was the fact that it was upside down. I saw Tex walk over to it before I decided to help out. As the guys talked to each other, I made my way over to the armored vehicle.

Tex looked over at me as I approached. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you get this thing back on it's treads." I answered casually.

"Look, you can throw that shield of yours with damn perfect accuracy, but I doubt you could help lift a 66 metric ton tank." She said skeptically.

"Tex, just shut up and let me help." I said as I walked over to the opposite end of the tank before grabbing it. "Ready?"

"...Yeah." She responded.

Nodding, I gripped the tank before counting. "1, 2, 3!" On three, I strained my muscles and grunted as me and Tex lifted the Scorpion before rotating it to it's upright position. Once it was, I spoke in a strained voice. "Okay, ease it down!" Me and the black freelancer slowly set the tank down.

I took a few deep breathes as I look over to Tex to see her taking her helmet off, her face was drenched in sweat and she was taking deeper breathes then I was. "You alright?" I asked.

She only looked at me in shock, not believing that I wasn't in the same condition she was in. I look back at the two privates and one dead-man to see them looking at me in their mouths open. "What?"

"Okay Steve, what the fuck?" Church asked.

"Huh?"

"How the fuck are you not sweating a pool right now like Tex is and how are your arms still on your body?" Tucker asked in disbelief.

I only shrugged. "I don't really know. I guess you could say I was born extremely healthy." I then look back to see Tex still resting before looking up at the cliff trail. "Church." I said as he looked at me. "You head up to higher ground. We need someone to keep an eye on the Reds, alert us if they do something."

"Because I'm the least visible?" He asked.

I nodded as Caboose spoke up. "Wait! I'll come with you!"

Church looked at the Blue soldier in annoyance. "That kind of defeats the purpose, Caboose."

"Okay. What if I'm really, really..." He then whispers. "quiet?"

"Do you even understand what the term 'visibility' means?" Church asks.

Caboose only gives a nervous laugh. "Ah, good one, jerk."

"Seriously, you don't know what it means, do you?"

"Ah, no." Caboose admits with his head down.

"As funny as this conversation is,..." I cut in between them, causing them to look at me. "Church, I need you to get to watch duty."

He nods before speaking to Caboose. "Caboose, just listen to Steve and, man, and try not to swallow your tongue or anything like that." With that, he was off.

I then looked at the two remaining soldiers. "Caboose, Tucker, you two will remain down here to keep an eye out from the ground and guard Tex while she fixes the tank. Tucker,..." I point to the hill that's keeping the Scorpion out of the Red base view. "you watch the Red's base from the hill, keep out of sight."

"You got it, sir." The aqua soldier replied before making his way over to the hill.

I then turn to Caboose. "Caboose, I nee you to keep an eye on those cave entrances." I ordered as I pointed towards where the caves were.

He looks at them before looking at where Church was heading. I place my hand on his shoulder to reassure him. "Caboose, if we're attacked or Tex fixes the tank, we'll all head up to join Church on the cliff."

Nodding, he walks towards the dirt trail that snakes along the hills between the two bases and watches the cave entrances. I look at Tucker before speaking. "Tucker, I'm going to make a quick run back to base and grab some spare rounds in case we end up in a fire fight with the Reds."

"Alright." He nods as I turn towards the direction of our base and make my way back.

* * *

**Tucker's POV**

I watched as our sergeant ran off towards the base, staying behind the hills to keep out of sight. Now most people would think that if they saw me and Church before Steve showed up, that I was one to ignore or complain to orders. That's not entirely true because the reason I did it was because they either involved me getting hurt or it was just fun to fuck around with Church. Steve though, he's more of a commander then Church, like Flowers only he's not as laid back, and his orders always didn't include the chance of just me being injured. In short, I had a lot more faith and trust in following his orders then Church's.

I look over at Tex as she was fixing the armored plating on one of the mud guards or whatever those things the treads were in were called. Just then a thought came to mind.

I walk over to her as she was just finishing up. "So, I suppose if you're helping us, you're not as mean as I thought."

She stopped before turning to me. "I wouldn't say I'm mean. I just get hired to do mean things."

"Yeah, but you like it." I replied.

She only shrugged. "Well, I think it's important to enjoy what you do."

I then look over to Caboose, who was watching the caves like Steve told him to. "So, let's say I paid you to kill Caboose. You would still do it, right? Even though you're supposed to be helping us?"

I turn back to the freelancer to see her looking at Caboose for a few seconds before looking back at me with a curious expression. "Is this a hypothetical discussion, or should we start talking numbers?" Her expression then went into a business-like expression.

...Okay, maybe I should stop.

"Yeah, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Tex shrugged before getting back to work.

"Hey, Tucker!" I heard Church yell from the cliff. Looking up, I saw him looking down at me with his usual pissed off look.

"What!?" I yelled back.

"What the hell is my body still doing up here?" He asked.

I sigh at his attitude before answering. "That's part of being dead, Church. Your body doesn't really move around much anymore. Maybe you haven't fully grasped the concept yet."

"All right, well, let me rephrase that, then. Why in the hell haven't you buried my body yet?"

"Buried? With what?" I asked him before gesturing to my pistol. "All we have are pistols and rifles. What do you want me to do, shoot you a grave?" I suggested sarcastically.

He growled at me before speaking. "Well then, how about shipping me back home? You know, let the loved ones pay a little respect."

I then look over at Tex, who'd stopped working to listen to us. "Well, Church, here's your girlfriend." I spoke as I turned to her. "Tex, as one of Church's loved ones, would you like to pay your respects?"

She turned to Church for a few seconds before focusing back on her work. I smirked at the response. "That was a stirring eulogy." I spoke, holding back a laugh.

* * *

**Cliff**

**No one's POV**

Tucker, Church, and Caboose stood around the body of Church, not saying anything.

"I am not happy about this." Church finally said.

"I have an idea." Caboose said. He looked at the others who were still looking at Church's body. "I have an idea!" He said a bit louder.

Tucker gave him an annoyed look. "Yeah, we heard you the first time, Caboose. We were just ignoring you."

Caboose looked at the ghost with a smile. "Since you possessed that Red guy and took control of him, why don't you just possess your own body?"

Steve is seen in the background heading towards their location as Tucker gave the blue rookie a deadpanned look while Church's left eye twitched under his helmet. "Oh, I see. So, that way I would be living inside of my own dead body."

"Yes."

"Unable to move, just laying there rotting in the sun for all eternity."

"Yes."

"Okay, Caboose. I'll be sure to get right on that." Church said sarcastically.

Caboose expression dampened from the ghost's words. "I think you are a mean ghost."

Steve soon got up to where they were. "What are you all doing?"

The three of them turned to their CO. "Oh, hey Steve. Church's just complaining about us not burying his body when we don't have any shovels." Tucker told him.

Steve looked at Church's dead body before looking at Tucker with in confusion. "What do you mean you guys don't have shovels? I saw some in storage while grabbing spare ammunition."

"Wait? We actually had shovels?" Tucker said in disbelief.

The sergeant only nodded. "Yeah. How did you not see them before?"

"Yeah... we don't really do a lot around here." Tucker said in embarrassment. He then coughed a few times before waving his hand in front of his helmet. "Dude, you really stink." He said to Church.

Church only looked confused by what the aqua soldier said. "What?"

Tucker then pointed at Church's decaying corpse. "Your body. It stinks."

"Tucker, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body." The dead-man tells Tucker in anger.

"Quit your bitching." Tucker waved him off. "Nothing's going to happen to it."

"It's a freakin' indignity! My body fought hard for this army, and it deserves to be laid to rest." Church argued.

"I thought you only stood around and talked rather then fight against the enemy?" Steve spoke.

Church went to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth as he couldn't find anyway to argue against the truth.

"Get over it. You're already dead. What's the worst that can happen now?" Tucker asked.

"Hey Church!" Caboose suddenly yelled in excitement as he was looking up. "Look, birds!" His excitement then turned to confusion. "Why are they flying around in circles?"

"Oh, God." Church moaned.

Steve glanced over at Tucker. "To answer your question Tucker: nature, that can happen."

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

"Okay, I'll go again." Grif said as he looked around the canyon. "I spy something that begins with..."

"Dirt." Simmons quickly cuts him off with a bored tone.

"Damn!" The orange soldier yells in defeat. "How did you-"

"Well, because you did rock last time." Simmons answers as he gestures the canyon with his left hand. "That's all that's out here, is rock and dirt."

Grif groaned in agreement. "Yeah, this canyon sucks.

**Cliff**

Back with the Blues, Steve, Church, and Tucker were watching Tex fixing the tank's main cannon. Behind the aqua soldier, Caboose is on look out with the sniper rifle.

"How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank?" Church suddenly asks.

"She's almost got the main gun back online. So, it shouldn't be very long." Steve answered him.

"Oh, that's just fantastic." The ghost says sarcastically, turning around as he threw his arms halfway up.

"Why would that upset you?" Tucker asked.

"Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna use it against the Reds, and they're all gonna die." The dead-man informed Tucker.

"And that's a problem why?" The blue sergeant asked with a frown.

"Because as soon as we beat the Reds, Tex is outta here. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head." He answered.

"A.I. …" Caboose says before Church glares at him.

"Shut up, Caboose." He then turns to Tucker. "And if I don't get it out before she leaves..."

"If she leaves you won't ever find her again." The aqua soldier concludes.

"Right."

"Church." Steve speaks as the ghost looks at him. "I know you care for her and I did agree to help you rescue her from the Reds, but do you really think she'll just want to give up an A.I.? I mean, it's one thing to be outfitted with what is currently one of the most advance pieces of technology the military has, but if you combine that with an A.I., that can make someone nearly unbeatable."

"Yeah, I guess I would understand that Steve, but remember what I told you about that A.I.. When she got it, it made her extremely aggressive and dangerous to deal with. It's causes nothing but problems." He argued.

The Blue leader was silent for a bit before sighing. "Fine. But, I'm going to warn you that the UNSC isn't going to be happy when they that an A.I. has just been destroyed."

"Worth it." The ghost simply said.

"So, what are you going to do?" Tucker asked.

Church looks over at the Red base before shaking his head. "I guess I'm going to do the only thing that I can do. I have to warn the Reds before she fixes the tank."

"You're switching sides?" Tucker asked in disbelief.

"Sorry, guys. I don't have much choice." The dead-man apologized.

"So, I can call Command and report to them that you died as a traitor, so we can then burn your body?" Steve asked jokingly.

"Ha-ha, very funny Steve." Church laughed sarcastically before flipping him off. "Why don't you take your humor and shove it up your ass."

Steve only rolled his eyes as Caboose looked at Church worryingly. "Church, uh, what- what happens when the Reds come out here to stop Tex, and then they come also with guns and they find us?"

The ghost only shrugged. "I'll try to help you as best I can." He soon faded out of the three's view. "Good luck, guys."

They didn't say anything before Caboose looks at Tucker. "Does this mean I should try to kill Church now?"

"I'll tell you what." Tucker turns to the blue private before jabbing his right thumb at his chest plate. "Kill me. I promise not to come back."

Steve only sighs in response to what had just occurred. "Enough you two. Keep an eye on the Red base, Caboose."

Caboose nodded before looking back at the Red outpost. Suddenly, he spotted something that stood out near the completely rebuilt Warthog. "Hey! Look at this!"

"No." The aqua soldier rejected.

"What do you see?" Steve asked.

"They have a girl." Caboose said, causing Tucker to suddenly pay attention and Steve to raise an eyebrow. "They have a girl!"

"A what?" Tucker asked, wanting to make sure he didn't mishear Caboose.

"A girl, a girl! Look, pink armor!" The blue private yelled as he pointed at the Reds' base.

"I don't see the problem." Steve simply said as Tucker threw his arms in the air.

"Oh, man!" He complained. "How come they get a girl?"

Tex, who'd stopped working on the tank, only looked up at them with a frown. "Uh, you guys realize that I'm a chick, right?" All three look down at the black armored freelance. "And that I'm standing right here?"

"Yeah, Tex. But when we say a girl, we mean a girl-girl." Tucker replied. Steve looked away from Tex to the Scorpion and saw it was in near-perfect condition. He then proceeds to make his way down the cliff trail.

"And what the hell does that mean?" She asked with a blank look, but her eyes promised pain to the aqua soldier.

Tucker and Caboose felt sweat roll down their necks from her stare. ""Nothing!"" They quickly ran out of her view.

"Tex." Steve called as he approached her. She turned to face the Blue leader as he stopped in front of her. "How long until the tank's working?" He asked.

"In a just a few minutes, I think. I just have to fix some of the electronics for the machine gun." She answered him.

They didn't say anything for a bit until Steve spoke again. "Church told me you had an A.I."

"So, what if I do?" The freelancer asked as she went back to work.

"How the hell did you get it?"

"I was given it."

This caused Steve to look at her in disbelief. "Given?" He scoffed. "Someone **gave** you an A.I.?"

"Yep." She simply said.

"Bullshit." The sergeant shook his head. "A.I. are very important factors for the UNSC. There's no way they would give-"

"Hey…! Tex!" Suddenly, Caboose yelled from above, causing the two to turn and see Blue rookie standing on the cliff edge. "Uh… Did you hear Church's secret plan to tell the Reds that you were fixing the tank?"

Steve mentally facepalms as he looks over at Tex, who was staring at him. He let out a sigh before talking. "I'm going to have a talk with Caboose." He then turned the other way and began walking towards the beginning of the trail that led up the cliff.

All Tex did was simply turn back to the tank and resumed repairing the machine gun.

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**Church's POV**

I quickly ran towards the Red's base to get to the left ramp in order to possess their robot and warn them about Tex.

"Hey." I heard one of them speak.

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever wonder why were here?" I soon reached the ramp and made my way up.

"No. I never, ever, wonder why were here. Semper fi, bitch." The other bluntly replied.

The droid is standing just right of the ramp. I make my way over and jump in.

_"Keegakergerk!"_

It shacks around a bit before I took full control.

The marron one turns to look at me in confusion. "What? What's wrong with Lopez?" He asks the orange one.

"I don't care." The fat soldier replies.

"Hey, Lopez, uh.. you okay, man?"

_"Aye, muchachos, necesito darles... un aviso..."*** **_I stop speaking as I realize something's wrong with my voice.

I'm speaking fucking Spanish!

_"¿Qué? ¿Por qué estoy hablando en español? ¡Yo no puedo hablar español!"*** **_I shouted to myself.

"Um... Sure..." The marron guy said as he and his companion looked at each other in confusion.

I only shook my head. _"¡No, no, escuchame! ¡La bruja los va a matar! ¡Ella está trabajando en el tanque!"*****_ I warned, praying to God that they could understand something.

* * *

**Cliff**

**Steve's POV**

After having a talk with Caboose, I saw Tucker looking over the cliff edge. "Tucker, what's happening down there?"

He turned back to me. "Aw, crap. She's almost done fixing Sheila." He spoke in worry. "I better radio Church and tell him what's going on."

I nodded in agreement as Caboose suddenly perked up. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Tucker, please! Please! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker, please! Tuck-"

He looked at Caboose before looking at me. "Should we?"

I turned to Caboose before looking over at Red base and then back to Tucker. "Yeah. Let him."

Nodding, the aqua soldier turned back to Caboose. "Yes, you can be the one who radios Church."

"Thanks, man." He said gratefully before looking towards the Red's base and activated his radio.

_'Radio static'_

Suddenly, the blue soldier stumbled in place before correcting himself, causing me to get a little confused and concerned.

"Calling Church. Come in, Church. This is your close, personal friend, Private O'Malley."

_"O'Malley?"_ I thought to myself.

"O'Malley? You said your name was Caboose." Tucker asked, clearly as confused as me.

"I never said that, you guys did!" Caboose retorted as he turned to Tucker.

"Why didn't you correct us?"

"Because I didn't want to be difficult." He then turned back towards the Reds' base while me and Tucker glanced at each other. "Come in, Private Church. Do you copy? Soldier unit Tex almost has the armor vehicle situation rectified."

_"What's going on with him? Why is he suddenly acting like a real soldier?"_ I questioned myself.

"Okay. We require verification of your... mission...ness."

_"Okay, that's more Caboose."_ I shrugged, thinking that was just some coincident.

"How is your progression?" Caboose finished. A noise, presumably Church's voice, came on inside Caboose's helmet. However, I wasn't able to hear anything because of it being muffled out. Caboose stood their for a few seconds before turning to Tucker. "...He says he wants to talk to you."

Suddenly, we heard a new voice over the cliff edge. _"Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank."_

Me and Tucker looked at each other before making our way over to the edge. There we see the Scorpion now online with no signs of anymore damage.

"Oh, shit. We got trouble." Tucker tells me.

I nod in response. "Yeah." I then walk over to where Caboose is and reach for my radio. "I've got to warn Church."

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**No one's POV**

_"Un tanque… grrrande!"*****_ Church, still possessing Lopez's body, specks slowly, trying to get Grif and Simmons to understand the warning.

"Hey, I think if you're going to live in this country, you should speak the language." Grif says as he crosses his arms.

_"Target locked."_

Simmons looks over to the fat soldier. "What country? We're on an alien planet."

"What are you, a communist?" Grif asks.

Church was about to try again when his radio came alive. _"Church! Get out of there! Now!"_

Before he could respond, Tex fired a shot at the ground in front of the base.

_'BBBOOOMMM!'_

"Son of a bitch!"

"Son of a bitch!"

_"__¡MADRE DE DIOS!"*** **_Church, Simmons, and Grif yelled.

**Cliff**

Tucker and Caboose looked at Steve, who was watching what was going on with the sniper rifle.

"Okay, I'm getting really sick of asking people what's going on through that sniper rifle." Tucker asked in annoyance.

_'BBOOMM!'_

"Church is getting mad at us, isn't he?" Caboose asked.

Steve nodded as he continued to watch. "Yeah, pretty much."

_'BBOOMM!'_

Tucker looked at the scene before nodding. "Ohhhhh. Well, that's a nice change of pace."

**Red Base**

Sarge ran to the Warthog before jumping in the driver's seat. "Simmons! I'm comin' around in the Warthog!" He then took off to the left side of the base. "Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by." He ordered.

"Roger that." Simmons replies before shutting off his radio as he and Grif hid on the left ramp.

_'BBOOMM!'_

Grif looked at Simmons before looking at the bottom of the ramp then back to Simmons. "I'll uh... I'll stay here."

"Yeah, stay here and guard this cement ramp. It's vital to our success." The marron soldier said sarcastically.

Just then, Sarge appeared outside with the Warthog with the back at the bottom of the ramp, allowing Simmons to quickly jump on. "All right, I'm on board." In informed Sarge.

Sarge then floored it and the two raced out to battle. "All right, here's the plan-"

_'BBOOMM!'_

"Junebug!" They didn't get a few feet from the base before the tank shot that Warthog, blowing it up. The explosion threw Sarge and Simmons from the vehicle.

"Gah!" Once they hit the ground, the two got back on their feet and ran back to the ramp Grif was at.

Upon joining him, Grif looked at them with a smirk under his helmet. "Wow, back so soon? Did you guys win the war already?"

_'BBOOMM!'_

As the tank kept firing at the base, Simmons looked at his superior officer. "Yeah, uh, did you want to finish telling me the plan now, Sarge?"

He only growled in irritation. "If we survive this, I'm going to kill both of ya." He threatened. "Slowly."

_'BBOOMM!'_

Grif then kneeled so he was ear leveled with Simmons. "Hey, Simmons? By the way, the ramp is secure."

Under his helmet, Simmons' right eye twitched.

_"Target locked."_

_'BBOOMM!'_

Sheila kept up the assault on the Reds' as Steve, Tucker, and Caboose watched from above.

At the Red outpost, Donut came up the right ramp, alarmed by the sudden explosions. "Hey! What are you guys doing up here?"

Grif popped up from the other ramp. "That chick in the black armor's back!"

_'BBOOMM!'_

"What chick?" The pi- I mean, light red soldier asked. "The one that stuck the grenade to my head?"

"That's the one." Simmons answered.

"The same chick who's fault it is that I'm stuck in this light red armor?" He asked again, this time clenching his fists in anger.

_'BBOOMM!'_

The orange soldier only sighed at the pink soldier's stubbornness. "Donut, I understand the need to safeguard your masculinity,-"

_'BBOOMM!'_

"But really, dude... it's a whole lot faster just to say pink."

Donut ignored him as he turned to look at the tank in the distance, a grin on his face showing his desire for revenge. "Ohho...! Oh, I've been waiting for this." He then ran to the front of the roof near where Church was taking cover at. As he did, he pulled out a plasma grenade and activated it. "Hey, bitch! Remember me! I saved something for ya!" He then drew his left arm back and threw the grenade high into the air.

Grif, Simmons, and Church watched as the plasma grenade arced through the air towards Tex in silence, astonished by what they were seeing.

The three blue soldiers on the cliff watched as it began to come down before Tucker finally broke the silence. "Man, that girl's got a really good arm."

"It's like Dude Perfect." Steve agreed, wide-eyed by incredible toss.

Tex was about to fire again when suddenly, the grenade past the driver canopy's bars and stuck itself to her chest. "Aw, CRAP!"

"Oh, son of a bitch." Steve said quietly, knowing Church was going to be devastated.

"Hell yeah! Three points, you dirty whore!" Donut cheered, his voice echoing across the canyon.

_'BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!'_

The grenade blew up, blasting the canopy off, destroying the driver cockpit, and throwing Tex out onto the left of it.

_"¡Dios mío, no!"*****_ Church yells in horror before jumping off the roof and lands on the ground, immediately taking off towards Tex. _"¡Tejas, Tejas!"*****_

Grif, Simmons, and Sarge watched him, not realizing it was their droid in control. "Uh, where's Lopez going?" Grif asked.

"To fight the enemy head on in hand-to-hand combat. Mano e mano. What a brave little compadre." Sarge said with a voice filled with pride for his creation. "Lopez, I never understood a word you said. But I do know one thing: You hated Grif, and that's the most important thing there is. Adios, amigo... Adios." He then brings his right arm up and salutes Lopez.

Simmons then looks at the Red sergeant. "Shouldn't we help him?"

"Naw..." Sarge shakes his head. "That would just ruin the moment."

**With the Blues**

Steve slide down the side of the cliff until he reached the bottom before running to the left side of the tank. Once he saw Tex, he stopped. "Good God..."

She was a mess. Most of the armor on the right side of her body was blow completely off. It was a different story for her right arm, or rather the lack of her right arm. It was blown off and blood ran out of where the arm once connected to her shoulder.

Her skin was nearly burned off, mainly around the chest. So much was gone that Steve could see some ribs poking out.

Her helmet's visor was completely shattered and most of the shards had embedded themselves into her face. One large shard in particular had penetrated her right eye.

"Tex..." The Blue leader said quietly, horrified by the freelancer's state. Just then, Church, still in Lopez's body, came running in and stopped at her left side. Steve looked at the brown robot as Church looked at him. Steve shook his head, telling him that nothing could save her.

"Church..." Suddenly, Tex weakly spoke. The two look at her and saw her right eye barely open looking at the possessed robot. "Is... that you?"

The bot nodded and she let out a sigh of relief. "It-... it's gone, Church..." The possessed robot quickly kneeled beside her and grabbed her left hand with both of his. "The A.I-"

She suddenly coughed a few times, blood coming out with each one. She took a few last deep breaths before speaking one more time. "It's gone." He remaining eye began to close as it lost any sign of life and her remaining arm started to go limp. "Thank... you..." Letting out a sigh, her hand slipped out Church's grasp.

Church just stared at Tex while Steve closed his eyes and lowered his head.

Tex was gone.

They didn't say anything for a minute before Steve looked at Church. "...I'll leave you here with her for a bit. If you want to carry her back to base, I'll let you. I'm going to get your body."

Church didn't say anything, but he silently nodded.

**Cliff**

Tucker watched the scene while Caboose was leaning against the canyon wall with his right arm on it to keep balance.

"Crap. Church is going to be pissed, and now he's got a body to kick our asses." Tucker said, fearful of what Church was going to do to them once they got back to base.

Suddenly, his radio blared into life as Steve's voice came on. _"Tucker... we're heading back to base. I'm going to take Church's body back while he takes Tex's. Once we get there, we're getting the shovels and bury them."_

"Do we really-" He was about to complain before Steve interrupted him. _"Tucker, I will not accept no as an answer soldier. Now get moving or else you're digging by yourself."_

Sighing in defeat, he responded. "Yes sir." He then spoke to Caboose. "Come on, Caboose, let's get back to base."

"I told you, my name isn't Caboose." The blue rookie said before standing up straight and turned towards Tucker's back. **"My name... is... O'Malley..."**

* * *

**And that concludes chapter 4! First, let's go to the translation for the Spanish lines that were spoken.**

_**1\. "Then I'd say, 'You don't weigh anymore, I'll weight more.' Then we put our bodies on the scale and determined who had the greatest weight. After that, I called myself Lopez the Heavy."**_

_**2\. "Hey, guys, I need to give... you a... warning..."**_

_**3\. "What? Why am I speaking in Spanish? I can't speak Spanish!"**_

_**4\. "No, no, listen to me! The mean women is going to kill you! She's fixing the tank!"**_

_**5\. "A large... tank!"**_

_**6\. "MOTHER OF GOD!"**_

_**7\. "Oh, my God, no!"**_

_**8\. "Texas, Texas!"**_

**Well, all I can say is, Donut is one hell of a grenadier. Sadly, that was bad news for Tex, but at least she doesn't have to deal with the A.I. now that she and it are dead.**

**Or are they.**

**With that, NexusLight out!**

**Update: 5/11/2019 - Edited a bit.**


	5. Doc's the Name

**Hey everyone. NexusLight here with the 5th chapter of The Newcomer. So last chapter saw the end of Season 1 of RvB. Now we're getting into Season 2. Also, the story is going to be more connected with the main stream _Halo_ canon then the web-series was. So lets get started!**

**Disclaimer:**** I own only the OC. **_**Red vs. Blue**_** is owned by Rooster Teeth.**

* * *

**Episode 3: Doc's the Name**

* * *

**Three Months After Tex's Death**

**Dream**

**Steve's POV**

_Opening my eyes, I quickly closed them as a light close to my face blinded me. After blinking a few times, I saw a gloved hand grab the lamp and move it out of the way, allowing me to stared at a metallic ceiling. I tried to sit up, only for a hand to grab my face and hold me down._

_"The subject is awake. Sedate him immediately." A voice said as he tried to struggle out of the person's grip. Suddenly, he felt something poke into his left arm and soon began to feel tired. The hand moved away from my face, I felt a mask being put over my face before I heard a hiss and breathing in something that increased my drowsiness._

_My eyes began to slowly shut as several mechanical arms appeared above me with needles on the tips before descending towards where my arms were. I also heard a whirling sound from both sides of my head before all feeling in my body vanishes and my vision goes black._

_Suddenly, my body explodes with_ _pain._

* * *

**Nighttime**

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

"GAH!" I quickly open my eyes as I shot up from my bed, breathing heavily. After a few more breaths, I feel my to see if their wasn't a mask covering it and sighing in relief that there wasn't. I then look at my arms, seeing no signs of any needle insertions. The only thing there were little reminds of the aftermath of that nightmare.

"God damn it..." I shook my head, trying to get rid of the memories that rose up. I looked at the clock on the side shelf next to my bed and saw that it was about the usual time I got up. Letting out another sigh, I climbed off the almost solid mattress to get began to get myself ready.

**Hours Later**

Letting out a sigh, I nodded at the screen with Vic on it. "Right. Well, sorry for wasting your time Vic."

**_"Hey, no problem dude. It's our job hear a Blue Command to deliver excellent customer care."_** I mentally scoff at that, consider the amount of bullshit I had to listen minutes ago. **_"Anyways, Blue Command out."_**

The screen shuts off before I shake my head. "No other skilled mechanics in range of us? What the fuck is wrong with this army?" I soon got up from my chair before heading outside to the front of the base.

"Hey, Church, we have a problem." I heard Tucker speak from outside.

"I am not your mother." Church speaks. "So don't come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn't like. That's Steve's job."

"I'm telling you, he's crazy. He keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice." Tucker complains.

I soon walk out and see Church, who's body is now the same cobalt blue from his old armor, facing his fellow privates as Caboose looks at Tucker. "No, I didn't.

Tucker then faces Caboose. "Oh, so you're say, you didn't threatened to cut off my head and give it to Church as a birthday present?" He questioned.

I bring my right hand to my visor and shake my head. _"This again?"_

After Tex died and Church gained a new body, things have changed around here. First was me making Church my second-in-command , which boosted his idiotic ego. I did consider Tucker at first, but knowing that Church was taking charge here before I was assigned sergeant made him the better choice and to be honest, he does have leadership skill.

In Tucker's defense though, the aqua soldier can actually aim worth a damn.

Caboose, however, I've noticed something odd with his behavior recently. On some occasions, his voice would become deep and he'd make threats to anyone, mostly Tucker. I've been keeping an eye on him to see if something was wrong, but so far, nothing.

"You know, I think you're taking my words a little out of context." Said soldier said to Tucker.

Tucker only became baffled by what he said. "What? What context?"

"Listen guys,-" Church began as I noticed someone in purple armor heading towards us before stopping a few feet. "-this competition thing has got to stop, okay? I thought we'd established by now-"

"Excuse me." The purple man (no FNAF reference here) spoke.

I began to walk towards them as Church glanced behind him. "Hey pal, one second, okay? I'm in the middle of something here." He then turned back to Tucker and Caboose as I came into view. "I- loo- I thought we'd established by now, I don't like either of you, okay? So competing for my attention is not going to do you any good?"

"Is it Caboose again?" I asked as I finally got to them. The two turned around as Church nodded. I let out a sigh. "God damn it..."

"Excuse me?" The purple guy asked again.

All of us finally turned our attention to him. "Okay, yes, hello. Who're you?" Church asked.

Suddenly, Caboose turned to Tucker. **"Don't ever be alone."** He said in a deep, threatening voice.

"He's doing that thing again." Tucker tried to tell Church, only to be ignored.

"Caboose!" I warned him. He suddenly snapped his head back towards the purple armored man, but not before quietly speaking. **"Dick face..."**

"My name's DuFresne." The man, DuFresne, introduced himself. "Uh, are you Sergeant Walker?"

"No, I'm not Sergeant Walker. My name is Church." Church told him before looking at me. "He's Sergeant Walker."

I nod my head at him. "Hello." I then gesture to Tucker. "This is Private Tucker."

"Yo." The aqua soldier says as he makes a peace sign.

Church then looks at Caboose. "And our friend over there in regulation blue, that's Caboose. Or O'Malley, or whatever the hell he's calling himself."

Caboose then looks at Church. "Why did you introduce me second?"

Tucker then looks at Caboose in annoyance. "Because he hates you."

I shake my head at their antics as DuFresne spoke. "I received your call for a medic."

All of us look at him in disbelief. "Medic?" Caboose asks as DuFresne nodded. "That was like three months ago."

"Yeah, what'd you do, crawl all the way here?" Tucker asked in disappointment.

"I came as quickly as I could." He defend himself.

"I've been calling for someone with mechanical training for the last three months after a week of you not showing up." I told him, very disappointed by what I just heard. "Command has constantly been telling me that their isn't a single one that's close enough, and yet, they were able to find you, a medic, after a I radioed in for one and it takes three months for you to get here?"

He nods and I felt my right eye twitch. DuFresne then looked at all of us. "Where's the patient?"

"Well, she's about 50 yards behind you and six feet straight down." Church tells him, a bit of anger in his voice, as we all look over at were she and Church's body was buried.

DuFresne turned around to see the two grave stones, one a cross and the other a star. "Oh." He says with a bit of sadness in his voice before looking back at Church. "I'm sorry about your loss."

"What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks, man, it was tough but, well, what're you gonna do..." Church accepted.

"We didn't like her very much." Caboose said before whispering loudly. "She was mean to other people."

"Caboose, what did I tell you about that?" I asked him, not wanting anyone talking bad about Church's now deceased girlfriend.

"Um..." He looked up, trying to remember what I told him about talking bad about Tex.

"Who's in the other grave?"

"That's uh, that's me. I'm in that grave." Church answered casually.

DuFrasne only became baffled by this. "... Uh huh... Of course."

"See, uh, he, got killed by this uh, crazy runaway tank." Caboose began.

Tucker then turned to Caboose with a deadpanned expression. "Or by the idiot driving it."

"Oh yeah, and then he became, uh, this really mean ghost, and uh, took over a Mexican robot's body, uh... oh! And then we had to uh, oyathatsright, spray paint him, ah, to make him blue, and now he is alive again, and he is a bionic man... Who... is blue..." Caboose finished.

Tucker then let out a groan. "Right, and it took us six weeks to get his Spanish setting turned off."

_'__Click!'_

Suddenly, a click came from Church before he turned to Tucker. _"No esta completamente apagado, pendejo."*****_ The blue robot spoke. I rolled my eyes at what he said. I would have told the guys that we have translators built into our helmets, but I knew they'd forget about it in a few hours.

Tucker only sighed. "I'll go get the Spanish dictionary."

"I don't think you need to Tucker." I told him. "Because I think you know what that means."

"Wait, so, no one here is hurt?" DuFrasne asked.

_'C__lick!'_

Another click came from Church as he turned back to face the medic. "No, we're fine. In fact, I feel better than ever. See now whenever these two idiots really start to bug me or when Steve gives me any bullshit, I can always just turn my ears off. Couldn't do that before."

"You said they were shorting out." Caboose accused him.

_'Click!__'_

"I'm sorry, what was that Caboose? I can't hear you!" The robot said, finally turning on his hearing.

"Hey Church." The cobalt soldier turns to me as I give him the middle figure. "What am I saying now?"

"Fuck you Steve." He replies as I smirked at him.

"Well then let me just check you three out, and I'll be on my way." DuFrasne says as he pulls out a-

I quickly reach to my right side and bring out my magnum and point it at the so-called medic. "Hold it!"

The guys jump away from me in surprise while DuFrasne held the Plasma pistol to his chest as he backed away a bit.

"W-Woah! Hold on Steve. What's got you so defensive all of a sudden?" Tucker asked.

I continued to glare at the purple armored man, ready to fire if he did. "He tried to point his gun at us, Tucker. That means that he's here to kill us."

"N-N-No, t-th-this isn-isn't a g-gun." The man replied, stuttering in fear.

"Bullshit." I told him. "I know a gun when I see one and can definitely tell you that's a Covenant Plasma pistol is a gun."

DuFrasne suddenly became confused. "Plasma pistol? I was told that it was a medical scanner that the aliens used."

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Wait, they told you they knew it was created by the Covenant?"

"Y-Yes."

"How the hell did you not consider the possibility of being a weapon used by humanity's greatest enemy?" I asked.

He looked at the pistol then to me then back to the pistol. "Well, a lot of medical officers use them in the field, so I guess I decided not to question it."

I stare at him for a moment before sighing. "Alright." I then placed the magnum back at my right side. "Let's test that then."

Everyone looked at me as I walk over to the cowering man. "You show me it can be for medical purposes and then I'll show you it can be used as a weapon. Deal?"

"D-D-Deal." He agreed as he pointed it at me before a green scan line shoots out of the energy band from between the two tips before it ran up my body. It then retracts back and from the reflection of DuFrasne's visor, I see the pad go green. "Huh... Looks like your vitals are all good."

"Mmm... Didn't learn that back during training..." I said to myself. "Alright, now let me show you that it is a weapon." I hold right hand out. DuFrasne looks at it before handing the pistol to me. "Alright." I nod.

I then turn to face the rock to our left before aiming the pistol at it. I move my thumb to the pad at the top before touching it. The screen then changes from the outline of the human body to a screen with two gauges. "Firing."

I press the trigger and immediately, the tips glow a bit brighter as the energy band flares up before a blast of green plasma shoots out towards the rock. Upon impact, the energy disperses, leaving the impact point burnt with a bit of smoke rising from it.

I nod to myself before pressing the pad again, switching off it's weapon mode. "See?" I say as I turn around to see DuFrasne staring at it in surprise.

I hand him the gun as he stares at it before looking at Tucker and Caboose. "...I'll guess I'll check you two out and be on my way."

"...Check us out? Is this gonna be one of those things where I have to turn my head and cough?" Tucker says in worry, mainly because of the demonstration.

"It'll be fine Tucker." I tell him. "I guess it can be used for medical use as well." I then pause for a few seconds. "...As long as it's in the right mode."

"Wow, talk about reassurance." The aqua soldier says sarcastically.

DuFresne shook his head as he pointed the pistol turned scanner at him. "No, I'm just gonna check your vitals."

"I bet I have better vitals than you!" Caboose boosts to Tucker. He then paused for a few seconds before looking at Church. "...What's a vital?"

"On your way? I don't think so, bud. Aren't you here to join our squad?" Church ignored Caboose and asked DuFrasne.

"No, I'm just here to help out with Tex, and then assist in the canyon as needed." The medic says as he scans Caboose before turning to Tucker.

"First of all, great job on the Tex thing. Mission accomplished." Church congratulates him mockingly. "Secondly, the way that we need you to assist, is to help us kill all the Reds."

"Church. Medical officers focus on healing the wounded brought back from battles. They don't engage the enemy unless their attacked." I told him.

DuFresne nodded as he scanned Tucker. "He has a point, but even if my orders didn't prohibit me from doing that, I still wouldn't. I joined the army as a conscientious objector."

"A conshe- who?" Tucker questioned in confusion.

"I'm a pacifist." The purple medic bluntly states.

"You're a thing that babies suck on...?" Caboose asks.

I was about to answer him until Tucker spoke. "No, dude, that's a pedophile."

...

...

...

Everyone stared at Tucker with wide eyes. He only looked confused by the stares. "What?"

"Tucker, I think he means a pacifier." Church says as he put a hand to his face.

Tucker stood their for a few seconds before realizing what he said. "...Oh yeah, right. Man, I was _totally_ thinking about something else."

"That's real classy, Tucker."

"Lets... Lets just... forget you ever said that, okay?" I suggested. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Well, everyone here checks out." DuFrasne said as he turned to me. "I'll come back and check on you before I leave the canyon. Can you tell me which way to the Red Base?"

Before I could speak, Tucker cut me off. "Why? You said you weren't gonna fight 'em."

DuFresne shakes his head. "I'm not. Resources are low so I'm on loan to both armies to help whichever side needs me at the time."

"Man, that is so freakin' lame." The blue-bot says in frustration.

"Everyone has to earn money somehow, Church." I told him as I placed my right hand on his left shoulder.

"I'm just gonna go to Red Base and see if they need any help." The medic says.

"Alright then." I tell him before looking towards the other end of the canyon. "Their base is just on the opposite side of canyon." I then looked at his Plasma pistol. "Hey, if you're heading to Red Base, I'd recommend putting away your Plasma pistol. If they see you walking up carrying that thing, they're more then likely gonna shoot it out of your hand." I warn him.

_'BAM!'_

Before he could speak, a sniper shot rang out before something hit DuFresne pistol/scanner, knocking it out of his hand.

Church then lets out a sigh. "Yeah, just like that."

_'BAM!'_

A streak flies in between us and DuFresne before hitting the base, leaving a bullet mark.

"Scatter!"

"Everyone, get to cover!" I yell along with Church before activating my shield and draw my magnum out. "Prepare for combat!"

* * *

**The Reds**

**No one's POV**

_'BAM!'_

Donut fired the sniper rifle a few feet to Sarge's left before reloading. "Nice shot, cupcake."

"Thanks, Sarge!"

_'Machine gun fire'_

The camera then switches to Simmons firing his Assault rifle. "Oh that's right, suck it, Blue!"

Suddenly, Grif pops up in in front of his line of sight. "Yeah, sneak attack!" He cheered with a fist pump.

"Sit down, you dumb ass, I can't see." The marron soldier told the orange idiot.

"Hike up yer knickers, fellas." Sarge orders before pumping his shotgun. "Let's go get 'em."

**Firefight Outside Blue Base**

Back with the Blues, Church, Tucker and DuFrasne are taking cover behind a rock while Caboose and Steve hide behind another one a few feet to their right. "Okay, Tucker, I need you to get up there, help Steve and Caboose shore up the defense, establish a suppressing fire, and hold that position until further notice or until Steve gives you new orders." Church ordered the aqua soldier.

"I didn't even know what half of that meant." Tucker told the second in command.

Church gave him an annoyed look. "Just go over to Caboose and Steve's rock, and fire your gun a bunch."

Tucker looked towards where the two were at, with Steve blocking shots with his shield before either throwing it at the Reds or firing his magnum with Caboose, and the distance between the two rocks. "That rock? Yeah, I don't think so." He rejected.

"We do not have time to discuss this." Church retorted, not in the mood to deal with this.

"Sure, no time for you to discuss it. You get to hang out here with Nancy No-Bullets shootin' the breeze." The aqua soldier gesture to the purple medic. "Meanwhile, I'm out there, running around, eating a machine gun sandwich."

"Tucker, we're gonna give you covering fire." The cobalt robot argues. "Besides, our commander has a shield."

"Covering fire? Unless that means you're gonna build a huge, bullet-proof wall between me and them or if Steve can somehow hear our conversation from over their, I think you need to come up with a new plan. Preferably one that involves me keeping the same quantity of blood that I have right now." Tucker again rejects the orders.

Church was feeling like something was about to overheat due to his anger. "No problem. Oh wait, wait, does the blood have to be in your body?" He asked.

**Reds**

Back with Grif and Simmons, who were unleashing a barrage of bullets at the Blues, although Grif wasn't letting of the trigger while Simmons was firing a few bursts before letting off to focus his aim.

"Sim-m-mon-ns... I-I can't-t f-fee-el my hand-d-ds." Grif shouts as his hands became numb from the constant recoil of his Assault Rifle.

"Maybe you should lay off the trigger, you dumbass." The marron soldier states the obvious thing to do for the idiot.

Suddenly, something fast slams into the left side of Grif's helmet.

_'CLANG!'_

"GYAH!" The fat soldier yells as he's knocked down by the sudden blow.

"Son of a bitch!" Simmons shouts in surprise as he notices a disc-shaped energy shield that was in patriotic colors fly back to one of the Blues before stopping on his left arm. Simmons couldn't help but stop firing for a few seconds in amazement and a bit of his comic-book geekiness rising up. _"No way... Did that guy just..."_ He soon shook his head before firing again, willing to think about it later.

"Oh..." Grif moaned as he stood back up. "What the hell was that?"

**Blues**

Church turns to DuFrasne. "Alright you, Doc, get over there and help those two!" He ordered pointing over at Steve and Caboose.

"My name isn't Doc, it's DuFresne." He told Church.

"Yeah. I can't pronounce that, so from now on, your name is Doc."

"I'm not really comfortable with that. I'm not a doctor, I'm a medic."

"What's the difference?" Tucker asked.

"Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable.. while they die." The purple medic explained.

Tucker stared at him for a few seconds. "Mental note: don't ever get shot."

"It's settled then. Your name is now Doc." The cobalt soldier told DuFresne.

Letting out a sigh, DuFresne decided not to argue anymore. "Alright, but I don't think it'll stick."

_Suddenly, the background goes grayscale and DuFresne slides further to the foreground while DOC, the letters in his color, slides across behind him, with dramatic music playing_.

"Oh, trust us, it'll stick." Tucker denied Doc's theory.

Church nodded in agreement. "Now get over to Steve and Caboose, and help them hold that position."

"I don't have a gun, I'm a pacifist." Doc argued.

"Yes you do. Steve showed us that thing is an alien pistol." Church remined him.

"Even if it is, I won't fight. I'm a 'pacifist.'" Doc retorted.

Church groaned at the medic's stubbornness. "Well then just get over there and yell 'bang-bang-bang'."

Doc didn't like that idea either. "Eh, I don't know. Even that sounds pretty aggressive."

Tucker then threw his arms in the air in disbelief. "Oh, come on."

"Besides, I'm not supposed to get involved unless someone gets hurt." The medic explained.

Looking over at Steve and Caboose, Church suddenly got an idea. "Huh. I see." The cobalt bot raised his pistol at Caboose before pulling the trigger.

_'BAM!'_

"Ahow! My foot..." Caboose yelled as he fell down and grabbed his left foot.

"Caboose, what the-" He then looked over towards where Church was. "CHURCH!"

Freezing a bit from his sergeant's yell, Church then turned to Doc. "Well, looks like Caboose has hurt himself. Maybe you should get over there and help him, Doc."

"You know, you could have just asked nicely." He told Church in disbelief that he did that.

**Reds**

Simmons releases the empty clip from his gun before reaching for more, only to find nothing. "Ah crap, I'm out." He then held his left hand out to Grif, who was using his magnum. "Give me some ammunition, Grif."

Grif only looked at the marron soldier in confusion. "Me? I don't have any extra. I'm down to one bullet."

"Wha- How can that be? You're the one who carries all the extra rounds in to battle."

"Wait, since when?" The lazy man asked.

"Since the last staff meeting." Simmons told him.

Grif only became more baffled. "We actually talk about stuff in those things? I just fall asleep inside my helmet."

Groaning, Simmons glares at the orange soldier. "Well, you missed your job assignment, and now we have no ammo."

"What's your job?" Grif asked, wanting to try and change the problem.

"Me? I'm the Social Chairman." He reveals proudly.

Just then, Sarge and Donut came running towards the two. "Grif. Me and Treasurer Donut are empty. We need some clips." He orders as he holds out his hand.

Simmons then noticed Grif's magnum. "Hey Grif, you remember that one bullet you have left? I thought of the perfect way you can use it." He suggested mockingly.

* * *

**Near Blue Base**

**Steve's POV**

I hear the gun fire stop as I tightened some cloth around Caboose's left knee to keep blood from reaching the blue private's foot and exiting the wound. Just then, footsteps approach from behind and I look over my shoulder to see DuFresne comes running up. "I'm here Caboose, where're you hit?"

"Ah, ow, ow, ow, my foot, my foot!" He shouts as he grabs his left foot in pain.

"The left foot?" The medic asked.

"No, the other left foot. Of course his left foot! It's the only one bleeding!" I shout at the purple medic. Upon seeing the medic back away a bit, I calmed myself down a bit. "Sorry, but I'm just pissed that Church did that."

"Yeah." Caboose agrees before gritting his teeth in pain. "Aeh. I can't believe Church shot me."

"Oh don't even start, Caboose!" Said piece of shit yelled over from the other rock.

"Anything else?" DuFresne asked Caboose.

Caboose only looked confused by the question. "Uh, well wha?"

"You have a bullet wound in the foot. Is anything else wrong?" The medic asked.

"Uh... Oh, I got one. Uh, well, sometimes when I fall asleep at night I think about my parents having sex, and I get really, really mad for some reason." He said, causing me and DuFresne to look at him for a few seconds in confusion.

"...Okay I'm just gonna start with the foot." The medic says.

"DuFresne. Use the Plasma pistol's energy band to seal the wound and until it's sealed, keep pressure on his artery." I ordered. Doc nodded before getting to work. Looking over at Church, I glared at him before popping my knuckles.

* * *

**No one's POV**

Back with Blue-bot and Aqua-man, they hid behind the rock, confused by the sudden quietness.

"Hey dude, why aren't the Reds firing?" Tucker asked.

Church only shrugged. "I don't know, maybe they're outta ammo."

"Hey, Blues!" Suddenly, Sarge's voice rang out, causing the two to look over their protection. "We are giving you a chance to surrender!"

"Surrender?" Church asked in confusion.

* * *

**Chapter 5, done. Now we have the purple medic, Doc, in the story. So, get ready for what's to come.**

_**1: "It's not completely off, asshole."**_

**With that, NexusLight out!**

**Update: 5/11/2019 - Edited.**


	6. Warthog Run

**Hey everyone. NexusLight and I have nothing to say right now! So, lets get started!**

**Disclaimer:**** I own only the OC. _Red vs. Blue_ is owned by Rooster Teeth**

* * *

**Episode 6: Warthog Run**

* * *

**Outside Blue Base**

**No one's POV**

The firefight that erupted so quickly came to a sudden end. As Steve made his way over to Church and Tucker, Sarge began to address the cobalt soldier.

"We are giving you a chance to surrender!" The red leader yelled.

Grif only groaned at this. "There's no way this bluff is gonna work."

"Put a cork in it, Fast Eddie." Sarge ordered him before looking back at who he thinks is the Blue's leader. "There's positively no way they know we're outta ammo."

**Cut to the Blues**

"Yeah, they're definitely outta ammo..." Church concludes before looking at Sarge. "What're your-"

_"BAM!'_

"OW!" Church couldn't finish as his CO delivered a strong blow to the side of his helmet, knocking him to the ground. "What the fuck Steve!?"

"Shooting teammates will not go unpunished, Church! Being an asshole is one thing, but shooting your fellow soldier is another." Steve warns him.

"Hey!" Sarge yelled causing the Blues to look at him. "You can't go around punching a superior officer! Even if he's a no good, dirty Blue!"

Steve and Church looked at each other before Steve turned back to Sarge. "No, he's not the CO here! I am!"

Back with Sarge and the other Reds, they looked at each other in surprise that their enemies had a new commanding officer.

"Grif! I thought I sent you out to gather any information on Blue's new soldier." Sarge told the orange soldier.

Grif look surprised as well, but for a different reason. "You sent me up on the cliff to spy on them? I just go up there to nap."

"GGRRRRRR!" Sarge growled at the lazy bastard. He decided to wait on that before turning back towards the newly discovered Blue CO. "If you are their CO, then state your rank, son!"

"I am Sergeant Steven Walker, recently appointed commanding officer of Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha! What are your terms!?" Steve yelled back.

"Their what?" Tucker asked.

**Cut to the Reds**

"Our what?" Grif asked in confusion.

Simmons only sighed. "I can't believe this is actually working. Nor can I believe they have an sergeant." He then looked at his CO. "See if we can get Lopez back, Sarge."

"Oh yeah. 'Cause then he can fix the Warthog." Grif realized.

"Ooh, ooh," Donut jumped in. "Sarge - tell them we want our flag back."

"Yeah, and some cake!" Grif suggested, obviously hungry.

"Ooh... Wait, wait, Sarge, just the cake."

"Alright, Blues! First off! We want our flag and our mechanized droid guy back!" Sarge demanded.

"Uh oh." Church says to himself.

"You may know him as Señor El Roboto!" Sarge finished.

**Cut to the Blues**

"Well, Church, what's it gonna be?" Tucker asked.

"_Chingado*****_, no way. I'm not giving back my body. I just got this thing." Church refused.

"Relax. I have an idea." Steve reassured him, despite still being pissed at Church.

"And don't think you can keep his nuts! Or bolts, or other mechanical parts you may have!" Sarge added.

Before Steve could reply, Church spoke up. "Uh… Uh, he's not here anymore!"

"Yeah, he left! He was all like 'Sayonara!' and then he just took off!" Tucker backed him up.

Steve and Church gave him deadpanned expressions. "That's not Spanish you idiot, that's French." Church attempted to correct him.

"That's Japanese, bolt head." Steve corrected Church as he looked at Doc. "Hey Doc."

"Yeah?" He asked.

"I'm going to send you and their flag over to the Reds to act as a hostage. Once you're back at their base, tell them why your here and you can leave." Steve told him. "Okay?"

"Hmm..." Doc thought for a moment before nodding. "Sounds like a plan."

Nodding back, Steve turned back to the Reds. "How about a medic?! Can you take a medic as a hostage?!"

**Cut to the Reds**

"Meh," The marron soldier shrugs. "That sounds pretty good to me."

"I don't know, I think we can hold out for more." Grif suggested.

"We don't have any bullets, dumbass." Simmons reminded him.

"Oh, right." Grif remembered. "Take the medic. The medic's a good deal."

**Back with the Blues**

Steve then turned to Church. "Church, go grab he Red's flag."

"Right." He complied before running into the base.

Just then, Caboose limps over to them. Steve looks at his left foot before looking at Doc. "How's he doing, Doc?"

"Doing well. He seems very alert and responsive." The purple medic informs him.

"He's talking about Caboose, right?" Tucker asked Steve.

"Actually, I mean his toe. How's the toe Church shot?" The sergeant asked again.

"What, that thing? That fell off like half an hour ago. Luckily, not a lot of blood was lost." He updated. "By the way, thanks for the advice. Normally I would have just rubbed his neck in aloe vera."

Steve nodded with a baffled expression as Caboose sniffled a little. "Rest in peace, pinkie toe..." Suddenly, he looked up and clenched his hands. **"You shall be avenged!"**

Just then, Church came out with the Red's flag and looks at Doc. "Alright, here you go." Doc nods back before taking it in his hands.

Steve nods before directing his attention back to the Reds. "Okay! We're gonna send over our medic!" Suddenly, he got an idea. "Now what do we get?!"

Church, Tucker and Caboose looked at their CO in confusion before two of them realized what he was doing. "You?! You're surrendering! You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!" Simmons yelled.

"We've already got that!" Tucker replied. "What else do you have?!"

"What do you want?! Sarge asked.

"How about if you admit that the Red Team sucks?!" Church suggested as Tucker grinned and Steve held back his.

The Reds turn to each other and mutter suggestions for a few seconds before Sarge nodded and turned back to them.

"What if we admit that one of us sucks?!" He asked.

"NICE." Grif smirks before thinking about the possible candidates and began to worry. "Wait, you mean Donut, right?"

**Timeskip**

"Okay!" Steve yelled to the Reds. "We agree to the terms?!" The Reds, apart from one, all nodded. "You first, and then we send over the medic!"

Sarge then looked at Grif with a grin. "Get on with it, Grif."

Letting out a grunted sigh, he began. "I would just like to let everyone know… that I suck!"

"And?!" Church yelled as Steve activated his helmet's camera.

"And that I'm a girl!"

"What else!?"

"And I like ribbons in my hair! And I want to kiss all the boys!"

"This may be the best surrender of all time." Sarge tells Simmons with a smile.

Simmons nodded as he turned to the Blues. "Okay, is that good enough?!"

"Yeah!" Steve yells. He then turns to Doc. "Alright, go ahead Doc."

Doc faces the Reds and runs towards them, stopping in front of Grif.

"Man, I really hope you're worth this." The orange soldier groans.

"Can I ask you a question?" Doc asks. "Do they put something in the water here?"

Grif only raises an eyebrow. "Water? We ran outta water six months ago."

"No water..." Doc says in surprise. "Then what do you drink?"

"Uh, you know, ketchup, uh, soy sauce, gravy, the usual." Grif list down as Sarge walks forwards.

"I only drink the blood of my enemies." Sarge bluntly tells him. "...And occasionally a strawberry Yoo-hoo."

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**Timeskip**

"Grif! Yer supposed to be watching the prisoner, not playing lookie-loo with him all day long!" Sarge yelled at Grif, interrupting his talk with Doc.

"Come on Sarge, he doesn't even have a gun." Grif argues. Doc reminds himself not to reveal the fact that his scanner is an alien pistol.

"Oh, well you two will be great friends then." Simmons suggests to the orange soldier. "He doesn't have a gun, and you didn't bring any ammo!"

"Hey thanks, kiss-ass. If I wanna take guarding tips from the guy that lost our last prisoner, I'll be sure to ask you." The orange soldier retorts.

_'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' _Suddenly, the sound of air horns and cheering erupt from nowhere.

"Oh man, that is a burn. Dude, you just got burned. Burned, dude, burned." Donut told the marron soldier.

"Oh, shut up, your armor's pink." Simmons growled at the light-red soldier. "Wait... where's that noise coming from?"

"Oh." Grif said before pressing a button on his helmet as everyone looked at him. "Sorry. I was watching some SovietWomble CS:GO Bullshittery inside my helmet." He apologized.

"Uh, hey, guys? I-I just want everybody to know that Grif and I aren't, uh, technically friends… uh, we're just talking. That's it." Doc tried to ease the situation before looking at the fat soldier, who stared at him in disbelief. "Sorry, man, but it's pretty obvious that you're really unpopular, and if I'm gonna make any progress around here at all I can't really be directly associated with you. I'm sure you understand." The medic explains to Grif.

"..." Grif doesn't speak.

Doc begins to feel sweat on his neck. "It's only because no one likes you."

"..." Grif still gives him the look of being betrayed.

"Stop staring at me."

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

**Steve's POV**

"Hehehehe…" Laughing to myself, I continue to watch the videos of SovietWomble and the ZF Clan fucking up and failing in that old computer game Counter Strike: Global Offensive. I set my iPad aside before looking back to my dismantled magnum and proceed to put it back together. "It's a good thing that this team isn't like the ZF Clan..."

I remaind silent as I finish rebuilding the pistol, having an odd feeling come over me that what I said was somehow complete bullshit. Taking the clip, I load it into the gun.

_'CLICK!'_

Hearing the clip lock into the pistol, I switch on the safety before attaching it to my right side. "Right, time to see what the others are doing." I stand up and head out of my living quarters.

As I make my way down the hall, I pass one of the openings to where we keep the flag and as I almost leave it exits my sights, I thought I someone walk in from the opposite entrance. I was about to turn back and check it before I heard someone talking from the back of the base.

"Celsius, Tucker." I heard Church.

"Oh, come on, dude, Celsius sucks." The voice of Tucker talks back.

_"What are those two doing out there?"_ I thought before heading out back. When I reached the back entrance, I saw...

...Tucker kneeling in front of Church...

"Hey, I found something." Tucker told the robot.

"Oh yeah? You found a-" Church stopped upon seeing me looking at them.

"..."

"..."

"Church what's- Oh..." Tucker asked before looking towards me and stopping. We all stare at each other for a few minutes.

"...Oooookay… Am I... Am I interrupting something?" I gingerly say.

"What?" Church says before shaking his head rapidly. "Nononono! It's nothing like that!"

Tucker nods in the same manner. "We were looking for a way for Church to activate his bodies repair sequence since it's the Reds' repair droid!" The aqua soldier says hastily.

I blink a few times before realizing what they meant. "Oh, that way we can repair Shelia, right?" They nod, mainly in relief that the misunderstanding was cleared away. "Good thinking. I'll see if I can help." I tell them before making my way over to them.

"Thanks." Church said before looking back a Tucker. "So, what? Did you find a button?" He asked as I crouched next to the aqua soldier.

Tucker shook his head. "Naw dude, it's more like a …switch." He replies. I look at where he's looking at see a small switch on the... cod piece."

"Well, give it a flip." The blue bot tells him.

Tucker only shakes his head as we stand up. "I don't wanna flip it."

"...What's the problem?" Church asks, his voice telling he's hoping it isn't where he thinks it is. Well, sadly, he's going to be disappointed.

"Take a guess where it is?" I tell him.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." Church says in disbelief.

"Sadly," I tell him. "We're not."

"You flip it." Tucker suggests.

"These arms aren't that flexible," The robot says as he shows his left arm, gesturing to all the hydraulics and wires that can be seen. "I can't even reach down there."

"What about Caboose?" Tucker suggest again, trying to avoid feeling awkward about flipping Church's 'switch.'

The bot only sighs through his air vents. "Oh man, he's so stupid, I don't even know if he knows how to operate a switch."

"Back off Church." I defended the blue private.

"Oh man..." Tucker groaned.

"C'm-Tucker, come on." Church begs. "We'll laugh about it later. I'll buy you dinner."

"I'm sure you would." I said, wanting to screw around with the possessed robot. "Though I don't know of any restaurants that serve motor oil."

Church let out a sigh at my joke. "You know Steve, I really wish this body was build laser eyes. That's the only way I can think of that will stop your shit humor."

"Life sucks bitch." I told him with a grin as he groans in agreement.

Tucker sighs before crouching back down before grabbing the switch and attempts to pull it towards him. He stops and stands back up. "It won't move, it's stuck."

"Did you try wiggling it?" Church suggests as Tucker shivers.

"No way, I'm not wiggling your dongle." Tucker rejects.

"Oh, stop being a baby." Church tells him. "Just wiggle it."

Groaning, Tucker gets back on his left knee and tries again.

"...So, you from around here, baby?" Church asks jokingly after a few seconds.

Tucker immediately stands back up. "Okay look, if you want me to do this, you can't talk like that." He tells the cobalt robot with in irritation and embarrassment.

"Alright, alright, alright, alright, I'm sorry, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding." Church apologizes.

"I wish Tex was here, she wouldn't have any problem flipping it." Tucker said.

Church only shook his head. "You obviously did not know Tex that well."

"I think she would say that it's no bigger then it was before." I said.

Church didn't say anything for a bit before looking at me. "Shut up." He told me, finally realizing what I meant. I chuckled a little before making an L with my right hand and brought it to my head. While I was joking around with Church, Tucker had gotten back to the switch.

_'CLICK!'_

"There!" The aqua soldier cheered before me and him looked at Church. "Anything?"

"Nope. Nothin'." Church replied with a shrug before he suddenly started looking around. "That's kinda weird. Do you guys hear something beeping?"

* * *

**Cut to the Reds**

**No one's POV**

Back with the Reds, the beeping sound that Church was hearing slowly begins to fade in, although the sound couldn't be heard by anyone.

"Are there any ideas on what to do with the prisoner?" Sarge asked Simmons and Donut.

Simmons looked over to Grif and Doc before looking back at their leader. "Well, we have to get him away from Grif, because ...yeah, you know, it's kinda cruel and unusual to have to talk to him." The marron soldier suggested.

"How 'bout we, um, let him trade armor with uh, one of us? That would show him." Donut asked, wanting to obviously get out of his pink armor.

_"__Warthog online." _The headlights flashed as a warbled and slurred robotic voice came out of the vehicle, drawing everyone's attention. _"Homing beacon activated." _The headlights flashed again and remain on as the voice is now up to speed.

Everyone blinked in surprise and confusion. "Sarge, d-d-did the car just talk?" Donut asked.

"Uh-oh." Sarge said with a bit of sweat running down is neck.

Simmons turned to Sarge. "Okay, I get it. You built a remote control for the jeep into Lopez." He figured.

"Yep." Sarge nodded. "But there's no way anyone could have found out how to turn it on. I hid it in a place no one would ever look. Unless..." He turned to Donut, Grif and Simmons following his gaze. "Hey, Pretty-in-Pink, were you messin' with my robot?" He accused.

"What're you asking me for?" The light-red soldier asked with a frown.

Grif then gave Sarge a worried look. "So someone else controls the jeep right now? And the big gun attached to it?" He points to the machine gun mounted on the back of the Warthog.

The Red leader only scoffed at the fat soldier's worry. "Oh, get a pair, you bunch o' Barbies." He then turns back to the active Warthog without any fear. "Even if they've figured out how to turn it on, they'd never know the set of code words to control it. Only me and my diary know that."

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

Back with the Blues, everyone was now on the roof of the base with Steve, Tucker, and Caboose facing Church.

"There, you hear that?" The blue bot asked.

Everyone except Tucker shook their heads. "Is it like a screaming, high pitched whistling noise followed by a series of random clicks?"

"No, it's just like this constant 'beep-beep-beep' noise." Church told the aqua soldier.

"Oh." Tucker said before shaking his head. "Then no, I don't hear anything."

Steve looked at Tucker with confusion. "Do you actually hear what you said?"

He only shook his head. "No, I was just tryin' to be helpful." Tucker shrugged.

"Yeah, well, you're failing." Church deadpanned.

"All I hear is that voice, you know, telling us to kill all of our friends before they have a chance to kill us." Caboose suddenly said. The others just turned and gave confused looks. "Wait, you guys don't hear that?" The blue soldier asked.

"Caboose... I'm going to have to get a professional to talk to you sometime." Steve said.

"Oh man, I can't take this any more." Church complained before looking at Tucker and Steve. "Guys, you're gonna have to do something, this beeping is going to drive me crazy."

The camera then turns towards Red Base as Church's words 'going to drive me crazy... drive me crazy...' echoes in the background.

**Red Base**

Suddenly, the lights flash on the Warthog with a series of beeps. _"Drive."_

The Reds' eyes widen in fear upon hearing the robotic voice. "Jumpin' Jehozafats, they've cracked the code." Sarge said as the Warthog began to move. "Those dern windtalkers."

The Warthog continues driving, heading straight towards Doc.

"Whoa!" The purple medic tries to turn and run, but the 4x4 quickly hits him, knocking him into the air. He quickly falls and by dumb luck or something, lands right in the driver's seat as it speeds off.

"Hey, he's taking the jeep!" Donut yells as he points at the remote-controlled vehicle, clearly not understanding the situation.

"Help, this jeep is kidnapping me!" Doc yelled as the car sped away from the base.

"Now he's taunting us. This is just embarrassing." Donut mistakes.

Sighing, Simmons turned to his father-like figure. "Hey, Sarge, new rule." Sarge didn't face him as the he and the others watched their light recon vehicle head to the middle of the canyon with its purple hostage. "How 'bout we just don't take any more prisoners, since we seem to suck at it."

**Blue Base**

As that was going on at Red Base, back at Blue Base, Caboose is currently kneeling in front of Church.

"I see a switch down here." Caboose tells the others. "It's not very big." He whispers loudly.

"Sure is, isn't it." Steve says as Church looks at him annoyed. "Just put it back in its opposite position."

Caboose moves his right hand towards the switch. "Wait, stop." Church suddenly tells Caboose.

In the background, the Warthog makes another series of beeps. _"Stop." _The light armored vehicle quickly stops on that command.

"Caboose... do you know how to work a switch?" Church asks.

Rolling his eyes, Steve scoffs. "Church, Caboose may have trouble with doing somethings, but I don't think that-" He then looked at the blue soldier and stopped.

"Uhhhhhhh..." Caboose hummed in confusion.

This causes the sergeant's right eye to twitch a bit. "Are you kidding me...?"

Church only sighs in disbelief that the soldier was this stupid. "Alright. Here's a full tutorial then. The switch is pointed in one direction, just turn it around so that it's pointed in the other direction."

_"Turn around."_ In the background, the Warthog makes a right U-turn and stops once it's pointed back at the Red Base.

Caboose nods before grabbing the switch with his right hand.

_'Snap!'_

Suddenly, it snaps off when Caboose pushes the lever forwards. "Oops! It broke itself." Caboose says as the sound of electricity is heard.

"Ugh!" Church groans in frustration. Steve only face palms along with Tucker.

**Red Base**

The Warthog stops upon completing its turn and is now facing the red soldiers.

"Oh man, what now?" Doc asks, wanting this to be over.

The Reds see the jeep pointing directly at them. "That does not look good." Grif murmurs as he holds up his hands in front of him. "Nice kitty, nice kitty." Donut slowly begins to back up towards the base's front entrance.

**Blue Base**

Back with the Blues, Steve and Tucker are crouching in front of the cobalt robot, trying to find a way to turn of the beacon.

"Okay, I see two wires down here. One's green, the other one's red." Tucker points out to Steve, who nods.

"What about the blue one?" Caboose points at Steve's thumb.

"That's just my thumb, Caboose." The Blue CO tells him.

"Come on, guys, just grab whichever one goes to the switch, and yank it out." Church tells them, wanting it to be over quickly.

Tucker tries to see where one of the wire went through the other mechanical bit. "Eh, I can't tell which one goes over there."

"Then just yank 'em both." Church suggested.

"Look Church, it's not that simple because if we just pull these two out, who knows what kind of damage it's going to do. This requires precision and care." Steve tells the possessed droid before getting back to work.

"But what it you pull the wrong one?" Caboose asks before looking at Church. "...You could explode."

"I don't care, look, just follow the red one." Church tells them.

**Red Base**

Another series of beeps is heard as the Warthog turns its wheels towards Sarge. _"Acquire target: red."_

Everyone turns to Sarge who freezes in place before Grif spoke. "Uh, Sarge, y-you, you may wanna start running." Simmons starts backing towards the other side of the base while Donut continues backing into the front entrance. "Now." Grif finishes before backing the same way his marron friend went.

Sarge only gulps. "Ahhhhh, fudge pumps."

**Blue Base**

"Okay, I see what's going on here." Tucker says as he points at the red wire. "The red one goes close to the switch," Steve nods as the aqua soldier's figure moves over to the green wire. "And the green one goes.. eugh, someplace else."

"Fine, just pull it. Take out the red one." Church tells them.

**Red Base**

The Warthog charges at Sarge, who's too slow to react.

_'BAM!'_

"Gyah!" He cries as the vehicle rams him into the side of the base.

_'BBAAMM!'_

"Oh, I'm pinned!" He yells as he attempts to push the vehicle away from him to no result.

Just then, another series of beeps signals a new order. _"Eliminate red target."_ The mounted machine gun starts firing at the right of the Red leader before slowly moving towards his head.

"It's gonna kill him!" Grif yells as the other watch and... well... do nothing to stop it.

The man only let out a sigh. "What a way to go. Killed by my own mechanical creations." He then looks at his soldiers. "I'm sure there's a philosophical lesson to be learned from all this."

"Something about the dangers of technology and the unwavering pride of mankind?" Simmons asked. Sarge only shook his head.

"No, something about hiring better help that doesn't just stand around watching you die!" He yelled.

Simmons looked at the others. "Okay, we gotta do something here guys."

"You're right." Donut agreed. "I got dibs on Sarge's armor."

**Blue Base**

Tucker is now the only one crouching in front of Church as Steve and Caboose watch them. "Okay, Church, you ready? I'm gonna yank the wire."

**Red Base**

"Grif," Sarge grunts out as the machine gun fire gets closer to his head. "If you see Lopez, tell him I forgive him. Tell him.. he was like a son to me."

"I thought Simmons was like a son to you?" Grif asked.

"No offense, Simmons. Lopez and I just.. understood each other better." Sarge apologizes.

The marron soldier only looked at him in disbelief. "Understood? He refused to speak English!"

"Yeah, and he ran away the first chance he got." Grif joined in.

"And now he's trying to kill you with a remote control jeep." Simmons added.

The sergeant only leaned his head back, ready to accept his fate. "Ahhhh, what a little rascal."

**Blue Base**

"Alright, here goes nothin'. One... Two... Three!" Tucker yells as he pulled the red wire before a small electrical sound is heard. In Church's head, the beeping subsides.

"Oh god, yes!" Church cheers in relief. "Finally! Some freakin' peace and quiet! I thought that was gonna drive me nuts!" He the attempts to move, only for nothing to happen. "...Hey. Why can't I move my legs?"

"Well, shit." Steve curses.

**Red Base**

Before the gun fire could reach Sarge's head, the Warthog beeps again. _"Signal lost..." _The robotic voice slows as the jeep powers down, stopping the machine gun.

Everyone breaths out in relief before Grif looks at their still pinned leader. "Wow, that was a close one. Are you okay, Sarge?"

Sarge only looks blankly on at the sky. "Ah, horse puckey, I'm fine. Although I do have to admit, maybe a little bit disappointed."

"It's okay, sir. I know that you said a lot of things that you didn't mean. People say crazy stuff when they're faced with their own mortality." Simmons accepts, think Sarge was apologizing to him.

"It's not that." Sarge shakes his head. "I just felt like I could have taken him."

"Taken who? The machine gun?" The fat soldier asks.

The Red sergeant nods. "Oh he was a worthy opponent to be sure, but right at the end there he was beginning to show signs of weakness. Cracks in the armor, if you will."

Grif only looks baffled. "What? You can't fight a machine gun."

"Yeah, Sarge." Donut agrees. "I know you're tough and all, but it is kinda hard to beat up hundreds of armor piercing bullets using only your face."

"And yet, he surrendered." Sarge points out.

Doc, no longer in shock from the experience, turned to Grif and Simmons. "Guys, guys, it's okay, I've seen this before. Sarge just lived through a very traumatic ordeal. We all have ways of coping with the stress." He reassures.

Grif looks at him with a raised eyebrow. "Oh yeah? How do you deal with it?"

"Oh I have my own system that works pretty well for me." He tells them before looking at his crotch. "...By the way, the driver seat of the jeep is gonna need a thorough cleaning."

* * *

**Blue Base**

**Steve's POV**

"This is great, this is just great! Thanks a lot, Caboose." Church yells at the blue soldier. "Now what'm I supposed to do? My lower half is damaged."

"Church, calm down. Something must have happened when Tucker pulled that wire." I told the paralyzed robot.

"Why don't you try walking it off?" Caboose suggests.

Church only get's more irritated. "I can't use my legs, moron." He gestures to his legs.

"Oh, I see. ...Have you tried running?"

"This doesn't seem like that big a deal. You hardly ever used your legs before anyway. I've never heard of a grown man asking for so many piggy-back rides." Tucker tells him, frowning as he remembered all those time Church made him carry him.

"Hey, I already told you: that was for science." Church informed him.

"No it wasn't, you asshole." I told him. "That was you trying to break Tucker's back because you weigh a lot."

Church only scoffed. "Why are you siding with him? You carried me, only you were actually able to carry me on your shoulder."

The three of us continued to argue as Caboose talked about Church walking on his hands and using his feet for high fives and eating and all that shit.

* * *

**Red Base**

**No one's POV**

"Hey, Doc, although I'm sure Sarge enjoys having his spine pulverized into dust, maybe you should go ahead and back up the Warthog." Simmons orders the purple medic.

Realizing that their sergeant was still pinned, Doc began fiddled around with the gear shift. "Oh, right. Sorry." He then pressed the accelerator pedal, but instead of going back, the Warthog drove into Sarge.

_'BAM!'_

"Oh, hot buttered lug nuts!" He cried in pain.

"Ooo..., geez, I'm really sorry." Doc apologized before moving the gear shift again. "I-I just was in the wrong gear, let me just..." He then pressed the pedal again, only for the same result.

_'BAM!'_

"Yoh, geez!" Sarge yelled as he put hunched over on the jeep's hood. "There goes mah last kidney! I was saving that one for a special occasion."

The medic looked at Simmons, who was starting to get angry. "Third time's a charm?"

The marron soldier shook his head. "I don't think so, Poindexter. Outta the jeep now!" He ordered.

"I'm really sorry guys. I was only trying to help. Really!" Doc apologized, lowering his head.

"Oh, is that all? I for one was totally confused. I thought you were savagely trying to kill our sergeant by ramming him over and over with a six thousand pound steel death machine. Now that we know that you're just trying to help, by all means, please continue." Grif said sarcastically.

"..." Doc looked at Sarge before looking back at the two privates. "...Really?"

""Get out!""

* * *

**Blue Base**

**Steve's POV**

"Well just start reattaching wires, I'll tell you when I feel something." Church told Tucker as the aqua soldier was attempting to get his legs working.

"What about that? Do you feel that, Church?" Tucker asked as he fiddled around a little.

"No, what're you doing?" The possessed bot asked. "I don't feel anything."

"Oh, Church? You know, I was thinkin'. …Uh, yih-yih, ya know, when you, when you eat ice cream too fast sometimes and it hurts your brain?" Caboose asked out of no where.

"Caboose, not now. Were trying to fix Church." I told him.

Caboose nods before he looks back at Church before he suddenly starts speaking again. "Uhhhh... Church? I think that you should know that the Reds are-"

_"Reds?"_ I thought to myself before looking at the front of the base and indeed, two of the Reds, the orange one and the marron one, were heading towards us with Doc. Before I could talk though, Church began to yell at Caboose.

"Dammit, Caboose! In the short time I've known you, you've managed to call my girlfriend a slut, blow me up with a tank, and now paralyze me from the waist down! So I hope it's not too much for me to ask, just for once, if you'd shut yer freakin' mouth!"

"Hey, Blues, we're here to- What the hell are you guys doing!?" The marron one begins before seeing Tucker and Church.

_"This is going to be awkward..."_ I think to myself as I bring my left hand to my visor and shake my head.

* * *

**That's a wrap. So, how will things go next time?**

_**1 - "Screw** **that!"**_

**Anyways, NexusLight out!**


	7. Romance Robótico

**Hey! NexusLight here and I'm not going to waste time here and keep you from reading. So, lets get started!**

**Disclaimer:**** I own only the OC. **_**Red vs. Blue**_** is owned by Rooster Teeth**

* * *

**Episode 7: Romance Robótico**

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

**Steve's POV**

"What the hell are you guys doing!?" The maroon soldier yells as he looks at Church and Tucker. This is... well... to say the least, awkward.

Tucker immediately stands up. "Aw crap, the Reds are here." He informs Church.

Church turns to Caboose. "What? Caboose, why didn't you say anything?" He asked before he tries to look behind him, but fails. "Hey. One of you guys turn me around. I still can't move my legs."

"What were you doing down there?" The orange one asks, bewildered by what he saw.

"Nothing." Tucker tries to play it off. "What're you talking about?"

"We were just playing a game!" Caboose shouts.

"Hey, Caboose, we'll handle this." Church tells as I draw out my magnum.

"What in the hell is going on at this base?" The orange one asks again as I walk to the edge and point my gun at him. "W-Whoa! Easy there. No need to-"

"State you're business or I'll start firing." I warn them as they back away a bit.

The maroon soldier then walks forwards a bit with his hands in front of him. "Whoa-whoa-whoa, calm down guys. We didn't come here to fight. We just came to give back the prisoner." He gestures to Doc, who waves a bit.

"Give him back?" Tucker states in disbelief. "You can't give him back, you took him, a deal's a deal."

"And you have your flag." I threw in as I turned my aim at the maroon soldier.

"Yeah, well forget it. We don't want him." Cubby told us.

"Well, sorry, you can't have another prisoner. That was our last one." The broken droid told them, his back still facing them.

"Didn't your mama ever tell you it's impolite not to look at someone when you're talking to them?" Maroon asked. I roll my eyes before pulling the trigger.

_'BAM!'_

"Gyah! Son of a bitch!"

The shot hit the ground in front of the maroon soldier, making him shout as he jumped back a bit.

Before I could say anything, Caboose shouted from behind me. "He's shy!"

"Shut up." Church told him sternly before addressing the Reds. "Look, we don't want him back, and we don't care what you do with him. Now if you don't mind, we'd appreciate if you'd leave us alone. We're in the middle of somethin'... kinda private over here." He told them, not wanting to tell them anything unusual.

The orange one only sighed as he shook his head. "That's sad. He is shy."

"Fine, but don't come asking for him back later." The maroon soldier told us before looking at me. "Wait, how about we trade for that energy shield your sergeant has?"

_'BAM!'_

"Fuck!" The orange one shouted as I fired another warning shot. "Okay! Okay! We're leaving, asshole!" He yelled as they walked back towards Red Base.

* * *

**With the Reds**

**Grif's POV**

Me, Simmons, and this useless medic ran over the hill, out of the Blue's sergeant's aim. I begin panting while the other to weren't even out of breath.

"God... damn... it..." I say in between breaths before getting my composer together. "Man, I thought our team was obnoxious, but those guys are really rude. Even their sergeant is more trigger happy then Sarge is." I tell Simmons.

"If he was as trigger happy, then both of us would be dead, idiot." Simmons tells me. "He can throw that shield of his with god-like accuracy. If his aim is that good, he could have put a bullet in our heads at any second."

I frown upon hearing what he said. "Shield? Simmons, what the hell are you talking about. Did you stay up all night reading comics again or something?"

"What? No. Remember the battle not to long ago where you didn't bring any extra ammo?" He asked. I nod as my left eye twitched as I remember the humiliation of what I was forced to say. "Don't you remember something hitting your head while you were shooting next to me?"

"Yeah." I told him.

"Well, I managed to spot a red, white, and blue energy shield flying back to the Blue's sergeant. That's what hit you." He told me.

"...Simmons, I love Marvel movies just as much as anyone,-" I begin.

"Oh, for fucks sack!" He yells.

"But there was never a real Captain America in history." I finish.

All he does is throw his hands in the air, giving up. "I know the truth can be hard at first." I tell him.

Suddenly, Doc turns towards our base and takes off.

"Whoa, wai- hey, whoa, where do you think you're goin'?" Simmons asks, causing him to stop and turn around.

"Back to base with you guys." He informs. "They don't want me over there..."

I shook my head in disapproval. "Heh, yeah, I don't think so."

"What? You're not just gonna leave me out here in the middle of nowhere.. by myself?" Doc asked Simmons.

"Yeah. That's kinda the general idea." The kiss-ass confirmed.

Then the medic turned to me. "Not you too, right, Grif? Old buddy? Huh?" He asked hopefully.

I smirked under my helmet. _"Payback time, bitch."_

"Sorry, it's pretty clear that you're not very popular around here, and if I'm gonna make any progress at all, I can't be directly associated with you. I'm sure you understand." I repeat what he said to me in mock sympathy.

The purple medic doesn't say anything as me and Simmons headed back to base, but as I passed the medic...

_"Yoink!"_

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

**Steve's POV**

"What's going on? Are they there? Did they leave? Hey, somebody tell me what's happening!" Church asked as I took over for Tucker in fixing Church's legs.

"I don't know, I can't really see too clearly." The aqua soldier says. "I bet I could see better if I had that sniper rifle..."

"Uh, Tucker, you might wanna look behind you." The robot says. I look away for a moment to look at Caboose, who had the gun in question.

"Motherfucker!" Tucker curses as I breath out in frustration, not seeing anything I could do.

I set down my tools and stood up to face Church. "Well, I'm sorry man. I can't do much else." I inform him. He only sighs in disappointment.

"Uh, ooh, Church, Church!" Caboose suddenly says, looking down the rifle's scope. "Okay, I s-I see something... okay... uh the two red ones are walking away... uhhh... but the purple one is..."

I look to where he's looking and activated my helmet's scope function. I saw the maroon and orange soldiers heading back to base, but Doc was heading back towards our base.

**"I think he's going to attack."** Caboose spoke in that voice.

"Purple? Oh wait, the purple guy's that worthless medic." Church realized.

"First, he's not worthless Church. Second, Caboose, he's a medic, he's not supposed to do anything unless someone's injured." I told the two. Church only scoffs in disagreement.

"Steve's right, he's a pussy fest." Tucker agreed as he looked at Caboose.

"Pacifist." Church corrects.

The aqua soldier only waves him off. "Ahhh, whatever, let's tie him up and roll him through the teleporter." He suggests.

"No." I shot down his idea.

"Wait a second, wait a second, think about this for a minute." Church says. "Why would the Reds leave him out there by himself? This has to be some kind of trick."

"I'll bet they've used some kind of brain washing technique on him. They're, they're probably planning to have him do all their dirty plans... and also the schemes..." Caboose suggests. This causes all of us to look at him.

Tucker shakes his head. "Caboose, that is ridiculous."

"Is it?" The blue private asks as he points the rifle at Tucker. "Or is it so ridiculous, it's the most ridiculously perfect idea that you never thought of?" He asks.

"No, just the regular kind of ridiculous." Tucker answered with a deadpanned tone.

I walk over to Caboose and move the rifle's aim away from Tucker. "Caboose, don't aim weapons at others unless the safety's on." I remind him.

"Well, just keep your eye on him. We'll know it's a trick if he tries to get into our base." Church orders.

"There's no way he would want to trick us, Church." I tell him. "He's not involved in our fight here. He's independent."

Suddenly, a voice from the distance spoke. "Hey, guys, uh, do you think I could come and hang out at your base for a while?" I looked back towards the front of the base and saw Doc.

"I knew it! We're all gonna die!" Caboose panicked before turning towards Tucker and aim at the back of the aqua soldier's head. **"Starting with you."**

I walk back over and take the rifle from Caboose. "Stop it!"

"Sorry, but we're kinda busy here. So, go away.. or something." Tucker tells him.

"Normally I wouldn't impose, it's just that I don't know the neighborhood too well, and-"

Before I could talk, Church cut us off. "Listen, Doc, you're not fooling anybody with that innocent victim routine."

"Hey, uh, I could help! I know more than just medicine! I'm trained in psychology too. Maybe I could help you with your problem facing people!" The purple medic suggested.

"Just.. get outta here! And tell your buddies the Reds that their little 'plan' failed." Church yelled.

Doc only looked down and walked away to the right of the canyon. I turn to Church and stare at him, a little pissed. He looks at me, confused by my gaze. "What?"

* * *

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**No one's POV**

Back at the Red's base, Sarge and Donut are seen standing on the roof, looking out into the canyon.

"So, just you and me hanging out at the base today, huh, Sarge!" Donut says. "This is new. I notice you use a shotgun. That's cool. I just use this pistol. It works for me."

The pink soldier looks over at Sarge, doesn't talk and keeps staring out at the middle of the canyon.

_'Whistles casually' _Donut just whistles for a bit before looking at Sarge. "So, you think the guys will be back soon? What do you think they're up to? Do you think they stopped at the store? I noticed we were getting pre-tty low on elbow grease."

Again, Sarge doesn't speak.

Donut remains silent for a few seconds before looking back at the red leader. "...When you die, can I have your armor?"

Just then, Simmons came up the left ramp. "Hey, we're back!" He announced.

The two turn around to face the marron soldier. "Oh man, am I glad to see you guys! Sarge would not stop talking. Seriously." The flamboyant soldier told Simmons.

"Grif, Simmons, were you able to work out a suitable exchange?" The leader asked as Grif came up and stood next to the maroon soldier.

Simmons let out a sigh before explaining. "Uhh, not exactly sir. You see, when we showed up the Blues were doing something, REALLY weird and then w-"

"Really weird! And they were rude!" Grif interrupted.

Simmons turned to the orange soldier, upset for being interrupted. "Hey dumbass, I thought we agreed I was gonna tell the story."

"Excuse me! Go ahead!" Grif told him half heartedly.

Turning back to Sarge, he continued his report. "Well you see, the Blue guys were really weird. And not just normal weird, really weird."

"You're not telling it right." Grif jumped in.

Simmons turned to him before crossing his arms. "Okay, fine, how do you remember it?"

"Well, I remember we agreed that you're a kiss-ass. I got fuzzy on the rest of the details." The fat soldier insulted Simmons.

Simmons only groaned before turning to Sarge. "ANYWAY, they didn't want the prisoner back, sir."

"Why those cunning, blue devils!" The Red leader shoats as he shakes his left hand in a fist. "Does their treachery know no bounds?"

"It wasn't a total loss, sir. I was able to steal his wallet." Grif reassured as he holds up Doc's wallet.

"Grif, I may just make a respectable soldier outta you yet." Sarge says, sounding impressed.

"Really, sir?" Grif asks in surprise.

"Hell no!" Sarge admits. "Now leave the money on my nightstand and get back to work!"

**Blue Base**

"Alright guys, what the hell are we gonna do? I gotta get my legs working here." Church asked Steve and Tucker.

Steve only shrugged. "Sorry Church. I've already tried everything to the best of my limited mechanical knowledge."

"I don't know, but I can't just keep pulling wires down there." Tucker said before an idea came to his head. "I think we should call in a professional. Maybe someone who can fix Sheila too."

"Okay, great idea, but the only two people that can do that are Senior El Roboto and Tex." The disabled robot pointed out.

"Hmm, Tex can be kinda hard to work with." Caboose said.

"Yeah, dead people usually are." Tucker agreed sarcastically.

Church and Steve looked at Tucker. "Quite frankly, Tucker, I find your attitude offensive." Church said, offended by what he said about his deceased girlfriend as Steve nodded.

"What about that Lopez person?" The blue private asked. "Is he available?"

Steve sighed. "Caboose. Lopez is right here." The sergeant gestured to Church. "And Church is currently using his body."

"Well, why don't you just leave his body, and then Tucker, Steve, and I will make him fix you and my girlfriend!" Caboose exclaimed. This caused everyone to look at him.

"Girlfriend?"

"What're you, a retard?"

"Please tell me you didn't say that."

Caboose then panicked upon realizing what he said. "I-I mean uh, Tucker and I will make him fix you, and ah, the beautiful tank lady means nothing to me, uh then we can get you back in his body when he is done."

Steve shook his head as he walked over to the private's left side with a smile under his helmet. He then put an arm around Caboose's neck and pulled him one arm hug. "I knew you could come up with a great idea, buddy." He said with a pride in his voice, making Caboose feel proud of himself.

As Steve congratulated the private, Tucker and Church looked at each other in bafflement.

"I'm confused. That actually seems like a good idea." Tucker admitted.

"I know..." Church agreed.

"But Caboose said it."

"I know!"

Suddenly, Tucker lifted his magnum in the air before slamming it into Church's helmet.

_'BAM!'_

"Ow!" The robot yelled as he brought his hand to his helmet. "What the hell was that for?!" His yell brought Steve and Caboose's attention.

Tucker shrugged in response. "I don't know, I thought maybe I was dreaming. So, I punched you in the face to make sure I wasn't."

"You're not supposed to punch other people to see if you're dreaming Tucker. You get someone to pinch you." Steve corrected.

"Dude, it doesn't matter what kind of dream I'm having, I am not going to ask Church to pinch me." The aqua soldier said to the sergeant.

"If you dented my forehead, Tucker, I'm going to be pissed!" Church states.

All aqua man does is wave the robot off. "Yeah, yeah, yeah..."

"Relax Church. Nothing's dented." The blue and white soldier reassured.

"Let's try this. I'll jump outta Lopez's body real quick, you guys just watch him and make sure he doesn't try anything. Got it?" Church told them.

"Actually Church. I need to go take care of something, so you're going to have to make do with Caboose and Tucker." Steve tells Church.

Church looks at him for a few seconds before sighing. "Yeah, it's fine. Besides, I can't really stop our CO in my state."

Steve nods at him. "Thanks Church." He then proceeds down the right ramp.

* * *

**Outside the Caves**

**Time Skip**

**Steve's POV**

_**"Okay dude. Well, sorry about the fire you had. We'll be sure to send supplies to make up for what was**** lost."**_ Vic replies to me through my radio as I approach one of the cave entrances with a bag on my right shoulder.

"Thank you, Command. Sergeant Walker out." I replied before shutting off my radio. I stare at the mouth of the cave before speaking. "Doc?" I called, hoping he was in there. After a few seconds, I called again. "Doc, you in there?"

After I asked, I heard footsteps come from within the cave before someone with brown hair and brown eyes wearing purple-rimmed glasses poked his head out. "Huh?" He asked as he blinked a few times, adjusting his eye sight to the change in brightness. He then looked at me and frowned. "Oh... What do you want." He asked with a bit of anger in his voice.

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay." I told him with a shrug.

He looked away from me, clearly upset by what happened earlier. "Yeah, no thanks to you or your squad. You guys didn't want me back and the Reds don't either, leaving me without any shelter or food in this canyon."

Sighing, I shook my head. "Doc, I'm sorry about that. Me and the guys were busy at the moment, but to be honest, I have a reason for not helping you before."

"And what's that?" Doc asked, still not looking at me.

"Because that would make the Reds believe your on our team and in turn, you're more then likely to get killed the next time in a fire fight." I answered him, causing him to look at me in surprise. "You said you're neutral in this conflict, so you don't have anything to do with it. I'd rather you camp out here and wait until Command sends a pickup to retrieve you."

Doc nods. "I see." He then gains a troubled look. "But I don't have any food, water, or supplies with me apart from scanner." He admitted.

"I figured that." I told him as I removed the bag from my shoulder and placed it on the ground. "That's why I brought you some."

Doc widened his eyes as he looked from the bag to me. "Steve... I-I can't take **your** supplies. Your team wouldn't be to happy about it." I tried to argue.

I only shook my head in disagreement. "No they won't. I already ordered some more from Command to replace what I gave to you."

He remained silent for a few seconds before smiling. "Thanks Steve. I owe you."

I only shook my head. "Hey, a soldier's job is to help and defend the innocent." I simply told him.

_'BBOOMM!'_

Suddenly, an explosion rang out from somewhere in the middle of the canyon. Doc flinched as I turned around and pulled my assault rifle out. "What now?" I said to myself before looking at the purple medic. "Well Doc. I got to get going." I then ran off to see what the hell was going on.

I soon reached the hill that Blue base was behind. When I reached the top I saw Church standing on the dirt trail that close to the base while Caboose and Tucker running away from him. I raised an eyebrow when noticed something from the left corner of my visor. Turning my head to the left, I saw the Red's Warthog heading straight towards Church, who still had his back turned.

I instantly dashed towards the blue bot as fast as I could. "CHURCH!"

* * *

**No one's POV**

_"Sí, sí, corran, perros cobardes. Que sea sabido que el gran López ha ganado en éste día, y..."*****_ Lopez, now free of Church's possession, yelled, glad the Blues were running at him. He was unaware of the vehicle of his makers rushing towards him.

"Aim for that guy right in the middle, Sarge!" Simmons yelled from the back as he pointed his left figure at the solo blue.

Sarge grinned under his helmet. "Way ahead of ya, Simmons!" He yelled back as he pushed the accelerator pedal all the way down.

As the sound of the engine got louder, the Spanish-speaking robot turned around in confusion. _"¿Qué está pasando?"*** **_He asked before he became shocked upon seeing his creator driving the very vehicle he fixed so many times straight at him with no intent of stopping. In his HUD, a beeping noise starts before SYSTEM OVERRIDE PROTOCOL. REMOTE DESTRUCT SEQUENCE appears in red. _"No me han dado opción."*****_

Before he could activate the Warthog's self-destruct system, a loud shout came from his left. "CHURCH!"

Before he could turn to see who just shouted as the Warthog was about to hit him, someone grabbed him and quickly pulled the robot out of the Warthog's path.

Lopez looked at the Warthog continue on, it's gunner confused and his creator cursing before vanishing behind the Blue base. He then turned his attention to the one who saved him, which was the Blue's white and blue sergeant.

"Church, you okay?" Steve asked as he helped Lopez to his feet.

Lopez was baffled by what happened. Why did a Blue, his maker's enemy, save him? Why did he call him 'Church?' _"¿Qué?"*****_

Steve, upon hearing the robot speak Spanish, quickly figured that this was Lopez and not Church. "Oh, you're Lopez? Right, sorry about that." He apologized before he noticed the Red's Warthog appear from the other side of the base and head straight at them.

"We're not missing you two this time!" Sarge yelled over the engine noise, breaking Lopez's mechanical heart even more.

Steve looked at Lopez before placing a hand on the robot's left metallic shoulder, causing him to look at the sergeant. "Lopez... I'll handle this." He told him before walking forwards a bit. Lopez stared at his back before moving away towards Blue base.

Steve grabbed the assault rifle off his back before aiming at the oncoming vehicle and pulled the trigger.

_'Machine gun fire'_

The spray of hit the front of the 4x4, some flying over head which forced Simmons to duck, while some broke the windscreen.

"Gyah!" Sarge yelled as he lowered himself into the driver's seat a bit to avoid getting hit before coming back up to glare at the enemy sergeant. "Alright then Blue... Let's see what you got!"

He pressed the petal all the way down as vehicle charged at Steve, but to everyone's surprise and shock, instead of waiting to dodge at the last minute, the Blue sergeant ran forwards, attaching the rifle magnetically to his back as he did.

"Is he insane!?" Tucker yelled, thinking Steve had a death with.

"Tucker, how come Steve gets to play a game with the Red's while we have to wait here?" Caboose asked, clearly not understanding the situation.

As Steve and the Warthog were about to meet, the sergeant suddenly bent his knees and jumped into the air, dodging the front of the car and over the driver and passenger seats.

"What the f-" Before the marron soldier could finish, the white and blue soldier suddenly reached down and grabbed the barrel of the machine gun with his right hand and spun it quickly to the right, ripping the triggers away from Simmons' hands and slamming the barrel into his head.

_'BAM!'_

"Ow!" He yelled as he fell down to the left side of the turret as Steve stopped himself on the roll cage. Suddenly, the barrel of a shotgun is pointing at the back of his head as the camera zooms out to show Sarge pointing his signature weapon at him.

"Got you now, dirtbag." Sarge growled out as he brought the Warthog to a stop in the middle of the dirt trail. "Any last words, Blue?"

Steve didn't say anything, but instead pointed with his left hand towards the front of the 4x4, causing the Red leader to look. On the bonnet, a sticky grenade is pulsating, with the pulse getting faster and faster. "Aw crapbaskets." He groaned.

Steve quickly curled his left leg up before launching his foot into his enemy sergeant's head.

_'BAM!'_

The kick slammed into Sarge's head with enough force to knock him out. As the grenade closed in on exploding, Steve put his left foot back onto the bar of the roll cage before launching himself back into the air with a backflip just as the grenade suddenly stopped flashing.

_'BBBOOOMMM!'_

The grenade detonated, destroying the jeep and launching Sarge and Simmons out with the blast. Steve landed on his feet and stood back up as he looked at the destroyed Warthog.

He turned back to the base and saw his team looking at him in shock and awe while Lopez stared at the ground. He then focused on Lopez and walked towards the depressed droid. "Lopez." Steve said as he stopped in front of the brown bot, who didn't look at him. "Lopez, we need you to do something for us."

_"Mi espíritu está quebrado. Mi gente me ha abandonado y ahora todo está perdido. Haga conmigo lo que queráis…"*** **_Lopez says in his usual robotic voice, but Steve was able to tell that the robot was saddened by the event that just occurred.

"Yeah, okay, man. Can you just shut up and fix our tank?" Tucker suddenly said, having snapped out of his shocked expression for what Steve pulled off. This caused said sergeant to sigh and shake his head.

**Blood Gulch Outpost #1**

**Time Skip**

After an hour of dragging the once again destroyed jeep back to their base, the Red privates all stood on the roof as Sarge works on repairing what he can.

"Is it just me, or does this jeep seem like really bad luck?" Grif asks Simmons, who nodded in response.

Sighing, Simmons held an ice pack to the right side of his head as he spoke. "Yeah. You know, now that you mention it, it does seem like every time we get into the damn thing it breaks, or explodes, or goes crazy and tries to kill one of us." He list all the things that have happened that involved them using the Warthog.

"Maybe we should try exchanging it for a few motorcycles." Donut suggested, causing the two others to look at him as another thought came to him. "No wait, wait! A big tank like the Blues have. That thing never seems to have any problems at all."

**Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha**

"That's basically it Lopez." Steve told the robot as the stood in front of the destroyed Scorpion, which was somewhat repaired thanks to Steve's limited mechanical training. "We just need you to help us fix our tank and then you're good to go."

Caboose then looks at Tucker. "I thought the plan was to trick him into fixing the tank and then Church will take over his body again when he is done."

"Yeah, but you don't tell the person you're tricking what's going on Caboose." The aqua man tells the blue private in annoyance.

"So, if I'm the one being tricked, then you would not tell me what is really going on?!" Caboose said in shock.

"Why would we trick you?" Tucker asked, mentally trying his best to not punch the idiot.

"Oh, I think you know." The blue man tells him with narrowed eyes.

_"¿Dónde voy a ir? Mis amigos querían matarme."*** **_Lopez told Steve, who began thinking of something.

"Okay, I'm gonna take that as a yes and let you get busy with the tank fixing." Church suddenly said.

_"No tengo hogar."*****_ Lopez said as Steve sighs, his mind conflicted. He knew Church needed a body, but after seeing how heartbroken Lopez was after all that's happened, he wanted to send the robot back home to the Reds.

**Red Base**

Grif stood on the broken Warthog, looking through the scope of a sniper rifle as he kept an eye on the Blue's base when he spotted the Blues gathered around the tank and saw something worrying.

"Aw crap." Grif groaned, catching the others attention. "Hey, uh, they got a guy fixing their tank."

Everyone felt a pit in their stomachs as soon as the orange soldier finished. "Impossible! Our Intelligence clearly states-" Sarge begins.

"We have intelligence?" Donut asks in confusion.

"-that the only soldiers in this canyon with mechanical training are that dead Freelancer and Lopez." Sarge finishes before he realized something. "Oh, wait a minute!"

Simmons turned to Sarge, clearly figuring it out too. "Sarge, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Lopez runs away, the jeep starts driving itself, and suddenly there's a new guy on the Blue Team?"

Sarge nods in agreement. "Yes, Simmons, I am. Quite obviously, the Blue Team has constructed some kind of diabolical mind control ray beam, that they used on Lopez and now he has to do their evil Blue bidding!"

"Or,-" Grif begins as he jumps off the ruined jeep. "-since he's a robot, maybe they just reprogrammed him." He suggested, clearly not believing in his leader's crazy idea.

"Or maybe that Blue guy who got killed by the tank came back as a ghost, and now he's possessing Lopez's body. That could also explain why Sarge went nuts when we had the prisoner. The Blue ghost probably possessed him too. And the jeep going nuts was probably just a weird set of coincidences while the guy learned how to use Lopez's body." Donut suggests as well.

"..." Grif, Simmons, and Sarge all look at the pink soldier like he was crazy.

"I think I like the ray beam idea better." Simmons said.

Grif nods, now thinking Sarge's idea was more sane. "Yeah-heh, rookie, your idea sounds a little dumb."

**Blue Base**

Back with the Blues, Steve and Lopez are finishing up fixing the tank, with the sergeant following the instructions of the Spanish speaking robot, much to Lopez's surprise that he was being understood. The rest of the guys watched or in Caboose's case, hopping in excitement.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry, fix the tank!" Caboose pesters as he stops hopping. "So that I can say hello to Sheila." He then turns to Tucker. **"And start killing everyone!"** The private says in a deep voice.

"You mean all the Reds, right?" Tucker asks in worry.

"Of course!" Caboose says in his usual voice before going back to his deep voice. **"For starters..."**

"Come on, how much longer, you two?" Church ask impatiently.

Steve stops welding before looking at Lopez and giving him a nod. Lopez nodded as he finished up his task before looking at the dead-man _"Completo."*** **_Steve then reaches into the driver's cockpit and presses the starter. The engine fires up as Lopez steps of while Steve shuts the drive canopy and gets off as well.

_"Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank."_ Sheila says as the headlight turns on.

"Sheila!" Caboose cheers in joy. "You're fixed! You're fixed!"

_"Hello, Private Caboose."_ Sheila greets the blue private. _"It is good to see you again. Thank you for repairing me."_

Tucker only rolls his eyes. "He didn't fix you. Our robot and Steve did it."

**"Don't cock block me!" **Caboose shouts at the aqua soldier in his deep voice.

"Dude, come on." Tucker says in disbelief.

Steve then walks up to Sheila to introduce himself. "Hello. This is our first time meeting, but the others told me about you Sheila. I'm Sergeant Steven Walker, the new commanding officer of Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. It's a pleasure to meet you."

_"Oh, I apologize that I wasn't active to meet you."_ Sheila apologizes. _"Thank you for fixing me, sir."_

"Sheila, just call me Steve." Steve told her before looking at Lopez. "And our robot friend, Lopez, here did most of the work. I only helped him with his guidance."

_"Robot? I wasn't aware that our squad was outfitted with a robot."_ Sheila said as she focused on the droid.

Lopez and Sheila slowly make eye contact and Steve looked between them and could tell that something beautiful was just formed.

"I don't like where this is going." Caboose said in worry.

_"Hello there. My name is Sheila. The M808V Main Battle Tank." _Sheila introduced herself.

_"Y yo soy López, el Pesado."*****_ Lopez replied, putting his left arm diagonally across his metal chest.

_"Lopez, what a nice name for such a nice soldier."_ The tank A.I. complemented. _"You have such excellent motor skills."_

Suddenly, Caboose got in between them. "Umm, yes! Well, Lopez has to go now. He was just here to help me fix you and now he has to go AWAY." He growled the last part in jealousy.

Tucker shivered at the awkward scene he was watching. "Dude, this is getting weird." He then turned to the ghost. "Church, will you take your fucking body back?"

"Roger that." Church responded.

Steve looked at Church conflicted. "Church, let's just let him go. I can call Command and they can send us a new robot that you can use a body."

"Forget Steve. You maybe our CO, but I'm not waiting for a new body." Church rejected as he rushed at Lopez, who backed away in worry.

_"No!"_ He shouts before Church enters his body, causing it to twitch about. _"Heauegerkergerk!"_ However, after a few seconds, the other could see something was wrong.

"Church, what's happening?" Steve asked.

"You okay in there, Church?" Tucker joined in. "Church, hey what's going on? Do I need to flip your switch?"

Suddenly, Church appears beside Steve with a baffled expression. "What the-? That wasn't me. What the hell's going on here?"

Lopez's body stops twitching as his head bends down before it moves back up again as his figures curl. "Well, _buenos dias*****_, cockbites." A familiar voice speaks out from Lopez, causing the others to widen their eyes in disbelief as the robot turns around to face them. "Guess who's back?"

* * *

**She's back! The badass that is Tex has returned from the grave! And Steve is showing that he's a bit of a badass as well.**

_**1\. - "Yes, yes, run, you cowardly dogs. It is known that the great Lopez has won on this day, and..."**_

_**2\. - "What's going on?"**_

_**3\. - "You have given me no choice."**_

_**4\. - "What?"**_

_**5\. - "My spirit is broken. My people have abandoned me and now everything is lost. Do with me what you want..."**_

_**6\. - "Where will I go? Even my friends have tried to kill me."**_

_**7\. - "I have no home."**_

_**8\. - "Complete."**_

_**9\. - "And I'm Lopez, the Heavy."**_

_**10\. - "Good morning."**_

**With that, NexusLight out!**


End file.
